Thursday, January 30, 2014

Final Stats

The 10 day cleanse is ooovvver.

I lost exactly 5 pounds. Not the most poundage....but I'll take it. 5 pounds in 10 days, I guess thats not too shabby. I'm 2 pounds from pre Parker weight. I call that pretty good. I'm down 7 lbs since Jan 1. 7 pounds in 31 days? Win.

Inches lost:
hips: -2.5
belly button: -.5
butt: -1 (JK trish....sad.)
boobs: -2
rib cage: -1
waist: -.5

Not huge numbers, but since the 1st I am down an inch almost everywhere. -3.5 for my hips. That's exciting!!

I had something good to blog about, besides trying to lose weight.

Can I remember it? No.

P feels like crap. I am really hoping its just a tooth.

I thankfully got to go home early. When does mommy guilt kick in 10 fold?

When your baby is sick and you have to walk out of the house and leave them all day. Worst feeling ever.

So I get home early, he looks horrible. Absolutely horrible. Julie left and we promptly laid on the couch to cuddle for a while. Then all of a sudden he perks up and is ready to go.

So I let him play for a bit...then he starts screaming.

This has pretty much been the pattern all night. Play for a bit, love life for a bit...then scream...hate life for a bit longer.

Now that it's bedtime...its pretty much all "I hate life" on his part.

Wednesday, January 29, 2014


Day 10 is OVER!!!


I do not know my total weight loss, though I don't think it will be more than 5. I am waiting until tomorrow morning to weigh-in. I'll take my measurements before I go to bed.

I am so glad its over. The last 3 days have been really hard. I just didn't care! I didn't binge or anything, I just let myself cheat a little more than I should have.

Monday I had a beer. Yesterday I was fine. Today I had some cheesy potatoes---just a few!! I made it through the weekend which has always been my downfall before. I made it a whole 7 days without cheating and the last 3 I stuck to it 95% I'd say.

I'm ok with that. 

I actually want to do it again. I'm looking forward to it.

I am going to eat like I'm doing the 24 day Challenge and I'll take the Advocare stuff that Liz gave me until I run out. I'm scared to not stick to it. I don't want to binge on Oreos the first chance I have. Although, they looked amazing at Target on Tuesday. I almost drooled. 

No lie.


I am looking forward to SuperBowl Sunday. Cheeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaat Daaaay!!!!!

I want to eat good 90% of the time. I will however begin drinking coffee in the am again. I almost caved today and had one. But I held strong.

Tomorrow....I will be crazy at work. Sorry guys.

Welp, time to go stress out about where the hell all our money went. 

Sigh. There goes that Tattoo at 20 lbs. We are on a spending freeze, but that's another blog post.

Tune back in soon to see my final results. :)

Sunday, January 26, 2014

Day 7- Stats Day

I usually weigh myself for real on Sundays...but I weigh myself every morning. It helps me stay on track and shows me if I did a good job the day before or if I should work harder the current day.

This morning I woke up excited to get on the scale.


Who does that?

I am down 4lbs since the cleanse...and 6 since the 1st. 4 isn't much for the cleanse, I've heard of people losing a lot more. I'm not done yet, and even if I only lose 4...I'm pretty ok with that.

Well I want to lose 3 more. Then I'm at Pre Parker weight again. A year and 3 weeks later...I'm back. :)

I'm almost back but man does my body not look the same. Weird how having a kid and then getting said kid cut out of you really changes your body. Huh.

Thank you to everyone who has kept me on track.

All your Facebook comments, asking me how its going at work, texts messages, or bringing it up when I see you out..keep me on track. If I am considering cheating on this I stop and think, " Ughh...then I have to blog about how I cheated." Those are not words I'd like to type. Blogging about this cleanse has been the reason I'm successful. Thank you for making me be accountable to all of you!

Thanks for reading the random crap that comes out of my head.

I am also down at least .5 inches everywhere. I haven't taken official measurements yet, I will do that on Wednesday night, but quick ones showed at least half an inch. I think it was a whole inch on my ass.


So far, not a lot lost, but I already feel different. I feel better in my jeans. I feel better in my sweatpants! I am seeing results, more results than I have seen in a very long time.

I'm fully invested.

I might have to actually get that tattoo....

Food today on my cheat day:

Breakfast: Biggest Loser Pancakes with a dollop of syrup. Not the best? But for being on the cleanse they weren't too bad. It was better than drinking a shake and watching the boys enjoy their pancakes.

Lunch: Tuna with plain greek yogurt and cucumber on a whole wheat sandwich thin. It was awesome. Thank you Shelly for the idea! Sorry Frannie...this may be my lunch a lot in the near future.

Snack: grapes and banana oatmeal cookies. They were awesome. They are literally just 3 smashed bananas and a cup of rolled oats. Cook at 350 for 15 mins and boom. delicious healthy cookie!

Dinner: chicken linguine. awesome and easy sauce. Just chicken broth and corn starch.  Pinterest win. oh and zucchini fries....not the best? I didn't enjoy the mushy texture. Sweet potato fries are better in my opinion.

Saturday, January 25, 2014

Day 6...Cheek Swab

What a crazy busy day we had!

The Bone Marrow Registry was today.

It was such a well put together event. Ilya's family really did a great job. 236 people showed up to get registered. Pretty amazing.

As far as the testing went, super easy. You have to swab inside your mouth, all four corners, with like a big Q-Tip. Totally quick and painless.

The form you had to fill in before you can do said swab...intense and long, but worth it.

Parker's buddy Bruce was there. P is a little like Lenny from Of Mice and Men with Bruce. He was trying to be a good friend and rock him in his car seat...and was just a little over zealous with it. I'm surprised Bruce didn't fly out. Apparently he also tried to eat Bruce's hand? Sigh..sorry Tanya.

Saw my friend Heather on our way out...thank for going Heather!!

After the registry we went to Target, met an old parent's new baby. Jonah. Adorable.

Hit up Costco for the first time with my new card!!

I just found out last weekend that I have had a Costco membership for quite a while I thought I'd actually use it.

It was *beyond* packed. So busy. I saw my mom's coworker and his wife and while we were catching up, we caused about 30 traffic jams. While I was walking slow to wait for Sara, I had like 4 people in a line behind butt to cart traffic. (get it? like bumper to bumper?)

I can't believe a store that huge can be that packed.

I grabbed P a sample of pork loin because he hadn't had lunch yet. He mowed for a bit and then wanted nothing to do with it. There was too much to look at. I ate his leftovers...sold.

I wasn't sure if that was ok on the cleanse, but I figured it had to be. Before I could go grab my own I ran into my old coworker Kathy, who is big in Advocare, so I could confirm that pork loin is in fact ok to eat. Great timing lady!

So this leads me to what I ate today:

Breakfast: Vanilla Meal Replacement- I had planned on eating eggs with chicken, but I ran out of time getting out the door. So shake it was. I just got a blender bottle and it made a HUGE difference in the shake. No chunks of powder? Win.

Lunch- Egg whites and one yolk with chicken and peppers.

Dinner- Pork Loin with carrots and red potatoes. I cheated and at the potatoes. But if eating these potatoes is wrong...I don't want to be right. They were SO good. I sprinkled olive oil and Italian Dressing mix on them and the carrots...even better than when you sprinkle the Ranch mix. Try it guys. The pork didn't even need ketchup!!

Here is the recipe: mmmmmmmmmmmmm

Thane is currently eating ice cream. Chocolate fudge crazy shit head. or something like that.

I plan to start lifting soon. Can't wait!!

Friday, January 24, 2014

Day 5...The Binge.

It was pizza day today.

Little Caesars.

Man..when you have only eaten chicken, tuna, lettuce, fruits and veggies for 5 days, the smell of that pizza sure makes your mouth water.

I left for a bus run...walked by the HUGE stack of pizzas, and didn't touch a single one.

Got in the van...the van that had just brought 30 pizzas from Little Caesars. I'm surprised I didn't gain weight just from smelling it.


Then I have to go to Starbucks to get a coworker.


Come on.

Fast forward to me being back to work...I make my lunch (chicken and broccoli) and get back to work- ignoring the pizza and its terrific smell.

I walk back into the kitchen after I finished my lunch and I couldn't help it. 

I gave in.

I stuck my fork in the most delicious food I have had in 5 days...and then keep stuffing my face. I only stopped because I ran out of food.

I'm sure if you had seen me at the moment I looked like a weirdo. Grin on my face...probably nodding my head thinking "my god..this is good. This is gooooooood."

Pineapple is amazing.

I binged on Pineapple. Is that possible?

Day 5...still haven't cheated. Boom.

Well, I guess I don't know if pineapple is on the list of ok food for the cleanse, but it's I don't care.

I worked out 4/5 days this work week. I gave myself Thursday off. My body needed it. Gotta listen to that old lady sometimes...

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Gorilla in the Locker Room

The third shower on the left is the best.
The showers at the P Club are SO hot. The only go from 90 degrees to about 250 degrees for water temperature Because a 90-degree shower is exactly what I want after becoming a sweaty mess on the treadmill on my break.
Oh but the third shower...that one is broke. Maybe? I don't know. But I do know that the temperature gauge goes past the 90 and the water gets not scalding hot.
I am pretty sure a female gorilla also loves this shower.
Today there was a gigantic clump of hair about the size of a small Boulder sitting in the corner.
Totally disgusting.
I gingerly move it with my flip flops, trying not to think that I have to then put my flip flop back in my gym bag after touching this small Chihuahua. Then I look to my right.
It was like a zoo.
My god.
Hair everywhere!!!
Did she cut her friggin hair while showering?? Seriously.
I mean come on, maybe something is wrong with her that they sheds that much...and that totally sucks..but PUT IT DOWN THE DRAIN!
I left the shower, did a quick scan and did not see a gorilla.
10 naked 90 year old women walking around buck naked? Check.
Locker room stories are the best. I saw Grace in there the other day and couldn't help but notice the 97 yr old women having an in depth conversation totally naked. One was getting dressed, but the other had the towel draped around her neck just gabbing away. For a very long time.
Best part? They were right next to Grace. Ha!
I shared this with my coworkers only to find out that the men's locker room is worse.
Men shaving naked. Blow drying their goods naked. Talking to each other with one foot on the bench naked.
Locker rooms are so gross.
Anyways, cleanse day 3.
I did great, but I felt like shit.
I felt horrible after my workout. Dizzy. Crabby.
So I ate some grapes. Boom. Better.
Meals for the day:
Breakfast- Meal Replacement
Lunch- Tuna salad with some chicken pieces and lemon juice. It was awesome.
Dinner- chicken breast with broccoli.
Snack- grapes and half of a small smoothie.
It was chicken alfredo day at work...and I didn't eat any! Not as hard as I thought it would be...but it wasn't easy.
So day 3 of not cheating. Better than any other time I have tried the cleanse. Thanks to all of you for making me accountable and supporting me!!
Pinterest Find:
My birthday is in November.

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Day 2

Went well again.

I got on the elliptical when P went down...and man did I not want to be there.

I watch Scandal when I work out...that pretty much makes me stay working out for 40 minutes, at least.

Today, I thought I heard Parker wake up from his nap after 10 minutes. I was totally ok with getting off to go hang out with him. I stopped...ran upstairs....sleeping.

Damnit. I made myself get back on the elliptical and finished my workout. Then I wanted to watch another episode, so I did 43 more minutes!!

Ha! Jokes. I was a sweaty mess. I'll watch it tomorrow.

I didn't cheat at all today. Pretty impressive. Especially considering I walked into work and there were like 6 bagels, cookies, and good bread sitting in the kitchen. I just yelled at Craig about it and walked out.

Go me.

Breakfast: Eggs with turkey and green peppers. It was amazing.

Lunch: Meal replacement shake

Dinner: leftover Chicken fajita.

Snack: 3 hard boiled eggs, and soon to be grapes before I go to bed.

I am thinking this weekend I will make spaghetti with turkey and wheat noodles. But now that I say that..maybe not. I happen to like spaghetti a LOT and I'm not sure I can stop after 1 cup of noodles.  So there that goes....

After I showered from my workout today I was thinking that I should work out again when I get home to get a full hour in today. I was hoping I'd become obsessed with working out. I could use a good 2 months of being obsessed with it.

Sadly, now that I am home...the ambition of doing those last 20ish minutes is gone. Its still early though...maybe I will.

I think that is why I'm so determined to finish this cleanse though. If I can do 10 days...I can do 50 pounds. Right?

That's the hope.

Monday, January 20, 2014

Day 1

I did it.

Day one.

Super not easy because I was at home all day...and starving.

Fed Parker lunch...starving.

Then I went to Target..starving.

Why was I so hungry? I'm doing a cleanse. Figure it out.

Ohh....I get snappy when I'm hungry?

Anyways, I didn't have the food ready because I was going to go this afternoon, so today I had to make it work.

Here was my day:

Fiber Drink- was able to get it all down....barely.

Breakfast- Meal Replacement Shake.

Lunch- Smoothie

Dinner- Chicken Fajitas!

Biggest accomplishment today: feeding Parker lunch and not snacking on his food.

He had a chicken patty and this pasta veggie thing...2 of my favorite things. I didn't even sample them. I almost did...but I talked myself out of it. The pasta things are my favorite. So good. He ate them all but one. ONE. It just sat there...staring at me while I ate my smoothie with a spoon.

"mmmmm Pam...I'm just one piece of pasta with cheese on it. I won't hurt you. I won't make you feel like a failure if you just pop me in your mouth. No one will see you...just your kid. There are no baby whisperers around...he isn't telling anyone."

Ya know what I said to that piece of pasta? Nothing. I drowned it in water in the sink. Take that loser pasta.

Apparently I'm crazy.

Anyways, making dinner, I made P and Thane French fries. I slipped up and had a tiny big to see if they were warm, but then I stopped before I ate 10. One little bit as a slip up....I call that win.

I didn't even let myself look at Oreos at Target. They are currently my enemy.

I plan on eating more food tomorrow than today. I actually have food now, so we should be good to go.

So day one done. Well kinda. I'm going to bed soon so I don't shove more food in my face...

20 Minutes down...

and I'm doing great!!!
I know I just started, but I seriously woke up this morning excited about the cleanse. I mean, seriously, give me a few days...but at this moment...I'm pumped.
I think it has to do with the fact that I took my measurements last night and weighed myself this morning and I am actually seeing improvement.
I am down 2 pounds in 2 weeks. Not the best, but a steady healthy rate so I will take it. I am down almost a 1/2 inch everywhere but my ass. Really? And my hips. I can't figure out where they hell they are apparently. So either I gained a few inches since my bridesmaid dress fitting, and the last time I took my measurements, or I have lost them.
So anyways, I was poking around on Pinterest last night. I thought I'd try something new for once. I searched for "Advocare" and got a lot of great hits! I love that this company has taken off in the past few years. When I signed up a few years ago, I don't think many people had heard of it. Now, everyone has a Pinterest board for it. Love. It makes things so much easier.
I found some interesting ways to cook veggies. I'm not a huge veggie person, but I am looking forward to these. I'm going to make Thane eat them, and I can't wait for P to try them.
I can't wait to go shopping!!! Most of the list is veggies and fruit...which is how it should be usually right?
I talked to Frannie about starting a monthly challenge and she told me her plan. (Hope you don't mind me sharing it love.) It just really makes sense. Focus on the cleanse, eating right. Then after the cleanse, keep eating the cleanse way. Now I don't plan on being as extreme as I hope to be these 10 days, but there is no reason NOT to keep eating more veggies than anything else on my plate. That is how it should be.
There is no reason I should be eating a full huge KJ meal every day of the week. I need to stick to just eating one meal there a week...because once a week there is something fantastic. Like this week...I am missing chicken alfredo . (Is that how you spell it?)  Sigh. BUT it will be back in 5 weeks and I will enjoy it then!
 So anyways. I'm pumped. I hope I can wake up every morning these next 10 days excited about eating tuna salad or chicken salad for lunch...and chicken for dinner. I should, I love chicken.
Happy MLK day people.

I'm off to make my Meal Replacement shake and maybe accidently wake up my baby who decided he wanted to sleep in super late today.

Sunday, January 19, 2014


Tomorrow starts the cleanse.

"Finally" as Frannie would say.

I am currently making a grocery list. When I say making a grocery list, I mean cruising on Pinterest thinking how bad I just want to go to sleep...but I know I have to make this damn list or I won't stick to it. So instead I blog.

I found a fantastic recipe for broccoli. Who doesnt' love broccoli!?


I plan on eating tuna salad! Who doesn't love tuna!?!?


Who is going to suck it up and eat tuna and broccoli?


Thane is going to take my fat pictures tonight before bed. I like those..they make me want to throw up. Throw up fat pictures = motivation to not give up.

Let me tell you, having a baby messes with your fat stomach. My new baby shelf? It should be illegal.

I'll probably post my fat pictures tomorrow....said no one ever.

I do plan to blog about my experience and my struggle, I mean about my ability to dominate the 10 day cleanse.

Yes. I will dominate it.

I will dominate it for my illegal baby shelf.

I will dominate it for the two weddings I'm is 6 months away!!!

I will dominate it to prove that I actually can.

I will dominate it because...damnit I want to.

Ok that's it.....I need to plan my life.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Bone Marrow

Bone marrow is the soft spongy tissue that lies within the hollow interior of long bones. In adults, marrow in large bones produces new blood cells.

Bone marrow is what a 7th grade girl needs to help save her life.

I have known this girl since I started at my job. She has been going there forever. We found out just before Christmas that she has AML leukemia. 

I have not been able to make myself look it up, but whenever someone says they have they just shake their heads, look down, and whisper "it's not good."


This little girl is so full of life. She is beautiful. She is spunky. She wanted to be a vet.

Now she is fighting for her life.

How quick things can change.

I was terrified the first trimester of pregnancy and the last trimester. I just wanted Parker out so I could see he was ok. I would know he was ok.

Her parents thought she was ok.

Until her flu didn't go away.

Now she is in the children's hospital doing chemo and preparing for a bone marrow transplant.

Can you imagine if that was your child? It literally makes me sick to even think about Parker going through this. Sick. and makes me cry. 

I just got a FB invite for an event to see if I could be a match. Ideally a sibling would be a match, but she is an only child..

So far 179 people are attending. I hope I am the one. I hope that I can help save her life. I have no idea what goes into bone marrow donation, but I will do it.

She's in 7th grade. She has the world to change. And trust me...if you know her, you understand. This girl will make a difference in the world.

Please, if you live in the area considering going to Verona on the 25th You could help save her life. Her LIFE.

Or at least give her a few more great years.

179 people is not enough. Please, if you can spare an hour on the 25th, message me. You could be her savior.
In any case, hug your little ones tonight, tight, and thank your lucky stars for their health.

Friday, January 10, 2014

Zero to One in 365 Days.

I want nothing more than to go to bed right now.

My mom's house is Pinterested up. It's perfect.

Everyone is in bed. I need sleep...but I want to write.

It's my last night with a baby. In a few short hours I will officially have a ...not infant? What do you call 1 yr olds? I don't think they are called toddlers yet. 

Who cares...Parker will be 1. ONE.

Where did the year go?

I didn't think I'd be emotional about it. "Pam is not emotional." -said no one ever.

This morning I took a picture with him because it was his last day of being 0. Then it hit me. It has been a YEAR.

So much has happened. I can't even begin to explain it all.

Such a tough and rewarding year. 

I will never forget the night, before Parker was diagnosed with Acid Reflux, when I went into Thane at 2am in tears. "I just need to sleep in our bed for 20 minutes. Just 20 minutes." I think I was going on a 9 day stretch of NOT sleeping anywhere near our bed. The chair was my friend in those days. I literally curled up across the bed and cried myself to sleep. 

Moms do that right? Don't act like you didn't.

Those first few weeks were hard. So hard. I'm sure they are for everyone, but man was I unprepared. Trying to recover from major surgery is pretty not easy. Getting up off the couch was horrible. Laying flat on my back in bed was unbearable and didn't happen. Trying to get up off the couch in time to get to a crying infant so your husband doesn't wake up...impossible. 

I am so thankful that I took 11 weeks off. In developmental terms, when I went back to work I had a 6 week old. If I had gone back to work after 8 weeks, I would have had a 2 week old at home. There is no way. Next round, I am for sure taking 11 weeks again.

I will never forget the day when he rolled over. He was on a picnic table at Anthony's graduation party. He was sick of being held, so I had a blanket out and laid him on it. He took that as his sign to get rolling...and he hasn't stopped moving yet. 

The day he walked behind his walker thing, my heart stopped. My baby was growing up. 

My nephew just turned 12. *12* Wow. I don't even want to think about Parker turning 12. 

I know people probably think I take an insane amount of pictures. I do. I'm ok with it. I need them to help me remember all the amazing things my son has done this year. There are too many to keep track of.  

With that being said, I hope you have all enjoyed watching Parker grow up. :) 

This time last year I was sleeping peacefully in my sleep not knowing that in 5 hours my water would break and my world would become even more amazing. 

8 hours and 44 minutes from now, last year, my son was born. 

Add what seems like 4 hours, but I'm sure it was only 5 minutes, to that- and that's the first time I held him. 

My baby is growing up. He amazes me every day. He is so much like me, but I really do think I lucked out and he got his dad's brains. Thank God. 

I do believe in love at first sight...

I'm lucky enough that it has happened to me twice in my lifetime. 

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Losing a Friend

It's horrible.

I just spent time with her today...and I felt so lost.

We have been through a lot these past 5 years.

My wedding. Gender Reveal party. Parker's 1st birthday. and my countless other projects I needed her advice and help on.

She was always there to help me with things I didn't even know I needed help with!

She will be moving away at the end of February and I will miss her dearly.

Goodbye Archivers. You are loved and I shall miss you.

I was there today to get some paper that I ran out of for decorations for P's birthday. My aunt told me things were 25% off already. Bittersweet.

I went on my break at like 1 assuming, per usual, it wouldn't be too busy. It was the middle of the work day for cripes sakes.

No. Parking lot is PACKED.

There is a big sign on the windows. "25% OFF! STORE CLOSING." My heart dropped.

Even though everyone had confirmed it, I had seen the email, I was holding out hope that it wasn't true. Now there is no where in Madison to go, sit with friends, and scrap. I know it sounds dumb..but what a loss. First the Scrapbook Superstore, a mom and pop store, and now Archivers a big cooperation.

What is this world coming to?? Everyone needs paper and embellishments at some point!

So anyways I walk in and it was a madhouse. Women everywhere with their little baskets full of paper and other goodies. So I beelined it for the solid colors, I just needed 3 more sheets of each to be satisfied with my project and 1/3 of the wall is bare.

WHAT?!?!  I was literally JUST there on Friday. Of course they were out of my blue. My favorite blue. Woe is me.

So now I start to panic. What if next time I come....all the paper is gone?? Then what!??!

Let's just say I understand looters during rough times or riots. I kept my calm outside, but inside...I was letting the scraplady take over.

What would I do when I needed chevron paper?!?! What about when I make a Valentine's Day project and I have no paper!? Where will I go !?!? I cooked it over to the chevron section and luckily they have a lot left.

I bought it all.

Joooooooookes. It's 25% not 70% guys.

But seriously, I planned out a few projects while standing there and had to search the store for the right paper. Several times I grabbed the LAST sheet on the rack. There was only ONE cupcake paper left.


That ruins my entire project, but I bought it anyways. I'll salvage what I can.

I was kind of panicking. Joannes paper selection sucks now since their remodel. Michaels is just disgraceful. Who has time to get over to Hobby Lobby? I needed to stock up NOW!!

I got in line, because I had to get back to work not because I was done. No one knew where to line up. There were two lines for my one register. Annoying.

So I went to the other register...behind the women who decided to literally buy 5 of every paper in the store. and 10 wooden picture things. Ya....she felt the riot panic too. I wasn't the only crazy one.
I left the store kind of upset. Which I find ridiculous. It's just a store Pam.
But not really. :(




Tuesday, January 7, 2014


It's cool to see the different traits that Parker has gotten from each of us.

From me: A super cool squinty eye. One of our cheeks is bigger than the other, so when we smile one of our eyes pretty much closes. How much it closes depends on how big our smile is. How much it sucks? Depends on how big we smile.

Sorry kid.

From Thane: The ability to curve his tongue like a bowl. Did you know that was genetic? I can't do anything cool with my tongue.

P stuck his tongue out for the first time of course I encouraged it. We spent about 5 minutes sticking our tongue out at each other. P was totally amazed.

Tonight he woke up from his 8:30 nap (so at this moment at 10:08 he is WIDE awake and laughing)and we worked on it again. Now he can stick it out and to my amazement...curl up the edges. How interesting is that?

He can also say "yes" now...when he wants to.

Last night he was about to attack the DVD tower, as usual- this kid has a weird obsession with it, when I said, "Parker, No."

Yes...I tell my child no.

He stopped in his tracks and looked at me. Turned back and reached out, "Parker, No!" Stopped...started at me...slowly turned back.

Repeat a few times before he finally stopped...looked at me...

and whispered "yes."

Thane and I both stopped and stared at him.

"Thane did he just...?"

Thane-"ya......I'm pretty sure he just said yes."

Oh boy. Talking back already?

I am well aware that I could have just gone over and redirected him to something else. In theory, ya I could have.

If you've ever had a 1 yr old who is obsessed with the DVDs, TV power button, you laptop or remote understand that redirecting rarely works. It usually just makes them scream and then they go back to it at lightening speed. Besides...I want him to know "no" and the sign for it.

So here we are, stunned.

Parker looks at us, slowly turns back, and sloooowwllly puts his arm out to pull out DVD while shaking his head "no." Thane starts to laugh. and I yelled at him. (Thane, not Parker)

You can't laugh at your kid when you're trying your best to be serious. Here I am, almost choking on my laugh for God Sakes....but if I laugh while saying no...well then he thinks he is being cute. Man was he being cute.

Long story short...after already telling the long story. After the 15th time of us saying and signing "no" he looked at us, slowly sat down, and then slowly crawled away from the tower.

I'm pretty sure he was thinking, "If I crawl away real slow, maybe they won't notice that I was at the DVD tower and they will forget my love for it. I'll try later."

No kid. We won't.


Sunday, January 5, 2014


I just ate the most AMAZING donut EVER.


Amazing donut.

Why do they taste so good?

Well let me tell you. It's the frosting.

It was white with chocolate drizzle.

Dear God it was amazing...probably the last donut I will have in months.

I'm ok with that. I worked out for an hour today, 40 extra minutes to make up for Friday and Saturday. I'm well aware that it doesn't exactly work that way...but its a small victory for me. That's a long time.

I lost a pound since the 1st. Boom.

I'm excited for the 24 day challenge to see what I can do.

and in honor of tomorrow:

Saturday, January 4, 2014

When CartWheel Goes Bad

So I'm sitting in my car in the Target parking lot, checking FB so I could give P a few more minutes of sleeping when I see Frannie's status,

"Here's a great idea, lets go grocery shopping on a Saturday before everyone is shut in for three days because we live in the frozen tundra of Wisconsin. " said everyone in Madison and surrounding communities... #livinthedream"

Then it hits me...I'm the dumbest person ever. I look around me...people EVERYWHERE. What a bad time to do shopping, but I'm already there..I have to trudge on.

We get there and I head straight to the baby stuff because well, it seems P needs something every time I go to Target. It's a quiet aisle...not many people.

Then I step out by the books...chaos. Total chaos.

People stopping dead in front of other people. Kids running in and out of aisles dodging carts. People standing at a dead stop in the middle of the walkway looking at their list or on the phone or waiting for kids who are running everywhere.

Dear lord....

So far I'm fine. I calmly walked from the baby stuff to the groceries and only had to stop 3,000 times because of people running in front of me. My favorite was the teenager walking right at me but looking only down the side aisle so he didn't see me only to dodge me at the last second before he rams into my cart. Because of course he was going full speed. "There's a deep freeze coming! I MUST find the legos!!! Can't watch where I'm going!!!"

Then I get to groceries. Wow. You'd think people were going to be stuck in their houses for days or something. I can handle crowds.

I can't handle people who don't realize there is an obscene amount of people shopping around them and they seem to think they have the whole store to themselves.

This women...oh I get annoyed even thinking about her. Ever have that person who bothers you in a store and you CAN'T get away!? I swear she could teleport.

She was in EVERY aisle I was in...blocking the entire aisle with her sideways cart..and then somehow beat me to the next aisle..with her sideways cart.

At one point, she created a line. A LINE for the aisle she was in because people couldn't get past her and she was throwing can after can of some shit in her cart.

I thought I had gotten away from her..and then I turned the corner and almost ran into her cart. She was now in the main aisle of Target, with her sideways cart, yelling back at her husband. "They only had FOUR?!?!?! I need SIX!! Well I HOPE I have SOME AT HOME!!!"

Well ma'am..I hope you do too. Can you move your f'in cart so the hordes of people can get by you???

Now onto the fresh produce. I needed green peppers. They had 2. 2.

Well duh Pam. People are going to be stuck inside for 3 days less than a week after the new year. People have to buy green peppers, not chips. If only this would have happened at the end of January I would have been fine. There probably would have been 30 green peppers.

Onto my checkout. Every line had at least 4-5 people on it, with a cart that looked like they were cooking Christmas Dinner for 8.

Perfect. I picked one and crossed my fingers.

A man came behind me with 3 things. So being the great person I am...I let him go in front of me.

He didn't want to because my "time was just as valuable as his." (what a nice thing to say) but I made him. So he went in front and then turned back, "Oh...did I forget to tell you that I'm paying with a check and that usually requires 3 different forms of ID and I only have 2?"

Totally kidding. Thank god.

So I go back to shoving Parker full of kid treats when I look up and hear the cashier go, "It will crash the system. You already used your cartwheel."

5 minutes later a manager shows up and gives us all $6 coupons...the register crashed and they had to restart it....AND redo her ENTIRE order.

The guy in front of me turned back, "Forgot to tell you I'm a jinx."

Ok..I still wasn't annoyed. It was a long wait. So long. But I figured whatever coupon she just HAD to use..that she made the guy scan even though he warned her must be a high value one. Like $20 off the car seat she was buying. That's worth a system crash to me.

This whole time, all 15 minutes, P is doing awesome. Then he starts to flip at the 20 minute mark. I'm not exaggerating.

The register finally starts, the lady lets the guy in front of me with 3 things go, and then they scan her entire order again. All 4 boxes of diapers and like 15 Target bags. It's at this point that I get a glimpse of her coupon.


$1 off a 2-liter.


I was totally fine with everything at Target until that moment. A dollar??? How rude do you have to be to risk a system crash on the busiest day at Target since Black Friday???

He didn't tell you that the system could crash just because he didn't want to scan your ONE DOLLAR coupon.

I would have given her a dollar from my wallet.

So moral of my story: Use your coupons BEFORE you let them scan your cartwheel. It WILL crash their system and it takes a REALLY long time for their computers to reboot.