Saturday, November 25, 2017

Camden's Story- Part 2

Mom was still at least 25 minutes out and my contractions seemed to be coming closer together. How women actually time them is beyond me. I was too busy worrying about how fast we could get to the hospital to make sure the baby didn't come in the car or some crazy shit like that. And Lord knows I wasn't about to call 911 and have my neighbors deliver the baby at our house. That would make for an interesting bbq next summer and we already have a birth story like that in our family..we don't need another one!

I went out to the car to check it one more time and when I got back inside I told Thane to call Jill. My sister in-law who lives down the street, who I had warned we may be calling her at some point to come..and who has been a lifesaver since Camden arrived. We had to get on the road before I had a panic attack.

Thane looked at me like "are you sure?" I may have slung a few swear words at him and then he called her. The convo pretty much went like this on his end, "Hey uh...Jill? It's Thane, um Pam....oh...um ya. Her water broke, can you...ok ya thanks!" Apparently she knew why he was calling her at 3:30 in the morning.

Jill showed up like 3 seconds later with her cape on...cause I'm pretty sure she flew over to the rescue, I ran over the boy's Halloween costumes quick, and we bolted.

We got on the road not saying much. I started to get a little upset because once again...my body went into labor early. It's a really shitty feeling knowing your body fails you at the end of each pregnancy. It was earlier than I was ok with but at least farther than Parker. Finally Thane was like, "So...we should probably agree on a name."

We had a girl name that we both agreed on, but as our due date came closer I was wavering on "Camden."

It is SO hard to pick a name when you have had a career in the child care field. Almost *every* name has someone associated with it for me.  I was worried Camden was too common. I told Thane we would decide when the baby came...if it was a boy. One of those "you will know when you see them" kind of things.

I was trying to time my contractions in the car so that when I got to the hospital and they asked me I could act like I  actually had my shit together...ya know like a seasoned pro. "Oh contractions? Pssh...this is round 3..they are blah blah apart." In reality..I couldn't focus long enough to comprehend what the clock said when one would start and then actually remember to look again when then ended.

At one point I went, "Thane! When did my last contraction end?!?!?!"

"I don't know!! What contraction!? I didn't 'know you were having one!?!"

Sigh...apparently I should have actually said something out loud..like a swear word since that was my theme for this labor.

We were just turning onto the street for Meriter when my mom called, "ok! Jill just left!" I don't know how long she waited to call..but either way I'm glad we didn't wait for her to get to our house before we left!

Thane dropped me off at the front doors and I waddled in while he went to park. Two security guards descended on me like they were super helpful bored men, "Miss?! Are you headed to Triage?"

I laughed..."How'd ya guess?"

They offered me a wheelchair and a ride but I said I was going to wait for Thane but did ask for directions. Getting lost was the last thing I needed.

Thane finally came in about 3 years later and we headed to check in at Triage.

Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Camden's Story- Part 1

Camden's birth story starts on October 30th.

I posted a status about how I was doing a huge shopping trip to prepare for the baby. The last time I did that, ya know..with Jensen...my water broke about 5 hours later at the end of my work day. I made the status into a joke..not knowing it was going to happen again. This time I had at least gotten home to put the milk away though!

That day I just got my newest shipment of LuLaRoe and it contained my Christmas leggings. I was exhausted but I knew if I didn't go live in my Facebook group that night I wouldn't get to it until after Thanksgiving.

I went live looking like a hot mess and stood there talking to my favorite people for almost an hour. I apologized for breathing heavy and I often lost my train of thought while working. He was moving pretty sharply and making bending over really difficult. People joked about me having a Live Facebook birth. I just prayed my water wouldn't break while in front of the camera!

A few days later my friend text me and asked me if I was having contractions during the live. She said, "Watch minute 24 and like 30!" I didn't actually feel anything but I think she was right...something was definitely happening.

I wrapped up my live show and resisted the urge to go to bed. I knew I needed to bag up everyone's orders, put their names on the packages, and send out invoices before I let myself go to bed. Which thankfully I did because once we got home the kids messed with my buckets downstairs and totally would have messed up my life.

I crawled upstairs and made Thane rub my back because apparently standing on concrete while pregnant is a killer on your back. We went to bed around 10:30 and I woke up at 3am.

I laid there trying to figure out what woke me up. Normally I had to go to the bathroom at that time so I laid there for a minute trying to figure out if the pressure I was feeling was the baby pushing on my bladder or labor.

Ok..keep in mind as I previously stated. I'm paranoid. I pretty much woke up every night when I had to pee thinking "Ohmygod is this it??"

I rolled out of bed, put my feet on the floor and froze.

Either I reeeeally had to pee and couldn't hold it (which if you've been pregnant you know that sadly sometimes that is a thing) or my water was breaking.

I stood there a second with my mind spinning. My water couldn't be breaking. I had *just* talked to someone about how their water broke with their first 2 boys but not their third. My water shouldn't break this time! (Heelllooooo irrational Pam! Welcome back.)

I rushed to the bathroom and yup.

Water broke.

I vividly remember standing in our bathroom looking at the floor and I broke out in the dumbest grin ever and just shook my head as it dawned on me what day it was.

I was literally having a Halloween baby.

I totally had called it.

I decided I had stopped leaking enough to actually move and go get Thane up. I went into our room, hit his feet and said "Babe! Let's do this! Call my mom!" By some grace of God I was calm at that moment. I began to go into robot mode. What needed to be done? This mode lasted about 5 minutes.

I called my doctor and gave Thane my phone to answer for when they called back. I had to shower. I hadn't gotten around to it that day and there was no way I was going into delivery without showering first.

Thane appeared in the doorway. "Ok, your mom wants to know if she should come?"

I stared at him blankly. "Thane. I am *literally* pissing on the bathroom floor. YES she needs to come NOW!"

Ok..so what they both actually meant was should she come to our house or should she meet us at the hospital..but when you are a tad frantic and starting to have minor contractions you don't always process things clearly.

We frantically ran around the house packing up the car and making sure we had everything in our bags. Thank God for lists. If I had forgotten my pillow I would not have been a happy camper.

I slowly opened Jensen's door and just stood there staring at him. Talk about emotional. Looking at your baby, who was about to not be your baby anymore. I stood there crying and rubbing his back and blew him a kiss because I was too huge to actually reach him for a kiss.

I wanted to go say bye to Parker too and when I opened his door, he popped up in bed. I was secretly pumped that we had woken him up so I could actually smooch him and say goodbye. It's hard to say goodbye to your kids when you know you're going to be in the hospital for at least 3 days.

"Parker guess what!!!! The baby is coming!!"

"Whaaaaat?!" He was groggy and excited at the same time. He was pretty excited to meet his "new sister." So excited in fact that I was worried about how he would react if BS3 was a boy...

I told him to go back to sleep and when he got up Grandma would be there to put him on the bus for school.

I made sure their Halloween costumes were laid out and their candy baskets were ready to go. I was disappointed that we wouldn't be able to take them out Trick or Treating that night, but it was only one year. We would have an even better Halloween next year.

I looked at Thane..."ok we need to go."

I was starting to have stronger contractions and it was making my panic. Contractions aren't really the best thing to be having when you live 45 minutes from the hospital and you are having a c-section.

I called my mom to see how close she was. The main road to get to our house from their house was closed. So she was going to have to come through Dodgeville; which meant it would take her an extra 15ish minutes to get to our place.

I got a hold of her and she was just outside of Spring Green heading to Dodgeville. My heart dropped.

She was at least 25 minutes out still.

Tuesday, November 21, 2017

Camden Part 2- The Scares

It's my goal to only have one "ohmygod the baby is coming" mistakes each pregnancy and we had one this time too.

I honestly don't even know what week we were...34 maybe?...when I started to feel a lot of pressure. I didn't think it was contractions, but it pretty much had me laying down all day on Friday and it sure as hell made me pack my bag. Saturday I had a LuLaRoe event and I was fine, but Sunday the pressure was back and had me laid out again with a slight panic.

I talked to Thane about it..called my mom crying about it...and everyone's response, if you're worried just call! I don't know about anyone else, but I always feel dumb calling. I know I'm being paranoid, but on day 3 of pressure and worrying I'm missing something..I gave in.

I called and because of my "pre-term" labor history they wanted me to come into Triage. I got hooked up to the baby heart rate monitor and they warned me that anything between 120 and 160 is fine. We will see spikes but as long as they come down or go back we are fine and that is actually what they want to see.

So when I say I felt pressure...it literally felt like he was right at the edge, kicking his feet to get out. It was a crazy feeling and I knew it wasn't normal. Every time I would feel it in Triage, his heart rate would spike to like 170. Luckily, while there it happened a lot so they could see what I was talking about. Nothing is more frustrating than calling your  mom to come up on a Sunday afternoon and heading in and then the symptoms don't happen. I was glad they were happening  more while we were there..and that I actually had decided to go in. If that had happened while at home I would have been in a straight up panic. They were happening often. Apparently every time he moved it felt like he was coming.

His heart rate also dropped below the 120 mark to like 110. It always came back up pretty quickly but cripes talk about stressful.

They checked to see if I was dilated and I wasn't and ran some other tests. Turns out it was just a pregnancy related UTI and antibiotics would cure it. I made sure there was no Sufla in them because lord knows we didn't 'need a repeat of Jensen. I got my antibiotics and we were on our way home.

Another scare came at my weekly appointment after we had been at the pumpkin patch. My nurse was taking all my vitals etc and when she got to the "have you been feeling the baby move" I hesitated. I thought about our day and I hadn't felt him move much at all. Granted we were walking like all morning so he was probably sleeping..but by now you get it. I'm nervous. She stopped typing and looked at me...and I said, "Well, not so much today but..." She asked me if I was concerned about it and when I hesitated before answering she said, "Too late! Let's go to the monitor." Another reason I love Madison Women's Health. They listen to you...don't rush you...and they honestly care.

She hooked me up to the monitor and his heart rate was very very low. Well, ok no. It was low to me. He was usually like 140s but that day he was like 125. Nurse not super concerned but for me..that wasn't his norm.

I had to be on the monitor for 20 minutes before they could access the situation. The doctor came in, because I had to meet with her anyway that day. She looked at the results and said, "Hmm, ok. Let's stay on a bit longer." My nurse nodded and said, "Ok! Let's get you some juice! and feel free to chug it." Neeever a good sign when they give you juice and tell you to chug.

His heart rate dropped to about 110 or lower a few times.

I cried.

I talked to my nurse about her twins and their NICU experience. Which little did I know we would soon be having one of those experiences as well.

After the juice she came back and frowned. "Let's turn you on your side." Ugggggggh. Crap.

So we adjusted the straps and my body and she stayed with me to watch.

He *finally* started to move more.

She and the doctor were surprised. "Usually that doesn't work! Apparently your baby is very particular."

This kid was already way more stressful than both the boys had been. I was hoping that meant that once he arrived he would be the easiest of the three. 

Camden Birth Story- Part 1..his back story

When Thane and I decided it was time to have another baby it was a bittersweet moment. I knew that this would most likely be our last child. I knew I would have to cherish every moment of feeling his kicks and while I was uncomfortable, just be thankful he was still growing and thriving on the inside.

This pregnancy was different as we all got to enjoy his kick, watch him move, and even got to see him in more ultrasounds than normal. With Parker and Jensen the placenta (ugh I hate that word for some reason) had formed in the front, which mean an extra layer for them to kick through. This time it was in the back!! Thane only got to feel Parker move a few times and I don't even know if he got to feel Jensen, so I was beyond thankful that for our last time around that would be different. We got to watch my belly move, his kicks moved things I was resting on my belly, and most importantly the boys and Thane got to feel him.

Due to a major mom freak out at his 20 week ultrasound, the doctors decided we would be doing growth scans to keep track of him better. For some reason, I was more paranoid than usual this time around. At the 20 week the doctor left me and I glanced at the screen. All of my numbers were at 20-21 weeks except one...which I found out was the Cerebellum. That was marked at 15 weeks. Needless to say, I lost my mind. I didn't really like the doctor anyways, so I honestly didn't trust her to tell me anything. It didn't help that about 30 minutes after my appointment, my clinic called me because they realized they didn't schedule a follow up appointment with me.

The ultra sound numbers and the randomness of them calling me so soon after the appointment sent me over the edge in Steinhafels. It took everything in me to make it to the car before I burst into sobs while talking to Thane. I made the appointment for like 2 in the afternoon but quickly realized that was stupid. I wouldn't be productive at work until then, so I called back and made it for 9am.

In the meantime, I was texting Frannie freaking out and she being the best friend ever advised me to NOT google what it meant. Instead, she did it for me. The results weren't bad and many of the children who measured at 15 weeks at the scan were fine. But ya...try telling a hormonal mom that and having her actually calm down.

Looong story short. Once they actually sat down and looked at the scans, he was at 19 weeks not 15 and I was calm. The doctor used the tape measure to measure my belly and since I was about a week or 2 behind were I should be, she ordered growth scans just to be safe. Best thing ever for a paranoid mess. I got to see him every 4 weeks until 32 weeks. Even better, Parker got to see him 2 times before he came..and hear him a few times when the boys came to my weekly shot appointments. He was pretty much amazed every time.

Throughout the entire pregnancy I was terrified he would come early. With his brothers only making it to 35 weeks and a late 37 weeks...it was constantly on my mind. Once we hit 35 weeks I could breathe easier but I started to pay attention to anytime I put food in my mouth. Which lets be real...was like constantly. Knowing I was having a C-Section it was really important to know what I had just eaten and when because of the anesthetic.

Not to act like I have super early babies, but the combination of me being a doomsdayer and having 2 babies that didn't make it to full term...nooot a good combo.

From the moment we found out our due date, November 23rd which is also Thanksgiving this year, I called he would be born on Halloween. As the day got closer I called October 31st to Nov 2nd (Ya know..Halloween or my birthday). I can't tell you how many times I stopped in the baby aisle at Target and debated on buying a newborn Halloween outfit. I didn't let myself of course, because I was holding out hope that we would actually make it to our C-Section day of November 16th.

During our 33 week scan, which should have been my 32 week scan but I won't get in to that..eyeroll..I found out he was already weighin in at like 5lbs 2 oz or something crazy big like that. At that point I had already bought 2 coming home outfits in newborn sizes, one for a boy and one for a girl..because we didn't know his gender. After that scan, I headed right to Carters to buy a 0-3 month outfit because damn this kid was huge already.