Monday, August 15, 2011

Never Leave Without Saying I Love You.

I haven't blogged in TEN days! What the hell Pam?! Apparently I have been way to busy. So here we go. 

I just finished watching The Lovely Bones. I have read the book, but man. They did a great job on the movie. It was so trippy, and insanely creepy. It makes you think a lot though. Life can be gone in a split second. One bad decision. This is part of the reason that no matter how hard I try, I can't leave the house or go to bed without telling Thane I love him. I can be madder than shit at him, but I still force out that "I love you" because you never know when it could be the last. Not that you want to think about that, but I do. Whenever he leaves the house for work I tell him I love him and to be safe. Apparently he doesn't listen to the "be safe" part, hence his hand. 

Ugg ok. I'm done with that. Erika's bachelorette party was this weekend! We went to the Brewers Game and then came back to hit up a few bars. It was fantastic. The Brewers won. My friends and I got on the Brewers website. People got drunk. I ate Dippin Dots. Our shirts rocked out. We played pin the torpedo on the sailor. No one puked. I learned a lot about my friends ;) and had a great sleepover. I can't wait for the next one!!! Who's next you guys?!?!?!?!?!?! I know what is next. THE WEDDING!!!!! WOOOO!!! I'm gunna rock that shit. I will probably be that bridesmaid..after I give my speech of course Erika!

This is short, but I want to read for a little bit. Later peeps...I'll write more this week! I promise!!

Friday, August 5, 2011

A Day in the Life of Bernie

Oh what a crazy Friday night I have had!! I came home from work and took a nap (so now it is 11:37 and I'm not tired at all even though I didn't go to bed til 1 last night. Ugg.) Then we went to Main Street for supper. I don't know why I suggested it...their food really isn't that fantastic. Kind of wasted $22. was a date. I liked it :) We got home and I had to look up some card designs for the wedding and baby shower I have this weekend. 

Both of the cards I made are pretty simple, but I still like them. Sometimes simple is better. I forgot to take a picture of the wedding picture.lame. It was the way simple one I can make it again without much trouble. 

I just decided I'm going to write a book. A Day in the Life of Bernie. This is a rough draft.

Pg 1. Hi, my name is Bernie. I'm a fat Weimarainer. My mom calls me "big boned" but I know she is just trying to make me feel better and not develop an eating disorder. I'm fat..and I like it. 

Pg 2: My days are pretty busy. I have a lot to do, and not much time to get it done.

Pg 3/4: My day starts around 5:10am, when mom and dad start moving around a little bit. Usually one of them gets up at this time, so I know that I can go outside and get some fresh air and pretend to pee. For some reason, they don't always get up this early...I don't think their alarm clocks go off, so I step in to save the day! If it is 5:30 and they aren't up yet..I pace around their bed a few times making sure that my collar makes a lot of noise. Sometimes if that doesn't get them to do anything, I shove my nose really hard on one of their arms. When this doesn't work either I give up and climb into bed with them. Like I said, I'm fat so when I crawl in bed between them they make room for me to crawl up and share a pillow. Once one of them FINALLY gets out of my spot, I take it over and try to spread out as much as possible on that side of the bed so my other parent still thinks someone is next to them. The things I do for these people...

Pg 5/6: Once mom and dad go to work I have the whole house to myself. Depending on who turned the TV on for me, I either sit on the couch and watch ESPN or the news all day. I like it when the news is on because then I can watch The View at 10. I love Barbara. I spend the day moving from couch to couch, licking my paw where ever I want, and watching TV. Sometimes I grab a toy to gnaw on..I love my toys. 

Pg 7/8: Around 4:30 I prepare myself for the return of mom and dad. They expect me to get into something while they are gone. I was really good at getting in the garbage for a while. Man..they loved that. They would come home and shout for joy when they saw aaalllll the coffee grounds I was able to pull out of the garbage and put all over the carpet. I am probably the most thoughtful dog ever. For some reason dad put this thing they call a "child lock" on the garbage drawer, so now I can't open it. I moved on to the side cupboard...there is bread in there!!! Dad put a stupid lock on that door too. Sometimes they leave the creamer out for me so I have a snack. Anyways..I find something quick to grab from the kitchen and put it in the living room and then perch myself on the back of the couch waiting for them to come home.

Pg 9/10: When mom and dad get home I get SO excited and grab a toy. I run to the door to make sure they see me and know I am still there. I think they would worry if I didn't show up at the door.. I don't want to make them worry. I spend the rest of the night licking my paws so that dad can yell at me to stop. It is the highlight of his night...he would probably be bored without me. 

Pg 11/12: I start to nap around 8 and then move to cuddle with mom and dad when they go to bed. I'm kind of a cuddle slut. It's my mom's fault. 

Pg 13/14: That's my day in a nutshell. It's a hard life...but someone has to do it!! 

New York Best Sellers list? I think so.

If you made it this far to read what I am typing rock at life. 

<3 Pam

Thursday, August 4, 2011

The Ghetto Side of Ms. Pam

I was talking to my coworker the other day and realize that I forgot 2 very important things on my bucket list blog. I don't know how I did this.

I am too lazy to look back and see if I wrote this, but I want to go to Ireland. I would have loved to go there for our honeymoon...iiiiif we had the money. I highly doubt we will ever have the money, but that won't stop me from dreaming. I would love to go for our 20th anniversary or something fantastic like that. Or it'd be even cooler to go for an early anniversary and go in March for St Patrick's Day. I also want to go to Australia, but Ireland first. (I am like 1/12th Irish, unless you ask my dad who claims I am 100% English, which is not possible bc my mom's family is not from England. Oh dad.)

The other thing on my bucket list may shock you. So if you don't want to be shocked stop I would love to punch somebody. In the face. You may be asking "Pam seriously? What the hell is wrong with you? Who puts that on their bucket list?" Well I do. Deal with it. My friend James let me slap him once, he didn't want me to punch him, but he let me slap him for real. So I tapped him...and he got mad. "No. Slap me!" So I did. Twice. (you can't do one cheek and not the other!) It was awesome. 

I was really close to punching someone once at a concert. It was our first Jason Aldean concert and we were in the front 2 rows, but some drunk girl and her friends were trying to get in front of us by kindly throwing their elbows into our sides and pushing us. So all the people around us bonded and we linked arms so the girls couldn't get through. (Petty? Maybe, but god they were annoying and rude!) At one point, I was so mad that the "ring leader" of their group (who was totally wasted) was right behind me tying her shoe on the ground and I may have accidentally shoved my foot behind me and kicked her over. Opps. Ok so now you're thinking "PAMELA! What?!" (you may have even said that using an mocking accent..cough Ashley and Sara cough) Ya I did it. When I get pissed I turn a liiiiiittle ghetto; FYI for anyone who plans to help me with this goal. 

So anyways, this girl (I love this story by the way) gets up and like doesn't even realize that I had kicked her bc she was so drunk. So now they start really trying to get in front of us and shoving us, and they are now getting riled up. Since we are still arm linked they get pissed, this drunk girl SPITS on me and they walk away. (I'm about to swear turn away...) I realize she spit on me and I'm all like "Wooooaaahhhhh did that bitch did not just SPIT on me!?!? the lady next to me checks my HAIR, "um..ya." Oh I was off. I chased this girl through the crowd (not knowing that Erika and the other girls with me took off too). I was so angry I saw black. Yes black, thats bad you guys. I literally grabbed her, pulled my arm back....and then my friends pulled me away. SOOOOO close! God she deserved it. Seriously? Who spits on someone? Dumb people who deserve to be hit. That is who. 

So ever since then..its on my list. In all reality, I hope I am never that angry again and get to the point where I would hit someone, mostly because I don't want to go to jail. My job is a little more important to me than that. Although, with that said..if someone is messing with my friends or out. I got their back and I am not pretty when the Milwaukee side (that I acquired in the 5.5 yrs of going there) comes out.

Now that I wrote that all out, I wonder if it is on my bucket list already?  Ugg whatever. I got a Smurf today at McDonalds!!! So sweet. I told Thane that if he loved me, he would go buy a Happy Meal every week just so I can get Smurfette. Let's see if he passes this test. ;)

Peace out homefries..

<3 Pam

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

My View on Teen Mom...

Dear Amber on Teen Mom- you suck at life. You are trying to move because people in your town are not harassing you at Walmart? What did you expect??! You are a horrible you think that Gary is going to let you take Leah to whatever town you are moving to!? No way lady. UGG. How is he going to make sure that Leah has clean clothes and diapers? Stupid girl. 

On that note- I can't imagine how hard it would be to have a kid when you're in high school. I know a lot of people do it now...what else is there to do in small towns besides drink and have sex? Well, apparently when I was in high school we had a lot more going on so we didn't have to worry about that. You wouldn't be able to go to all the football/basketball games you wanted to because you'd have a kid to do something with. I don't think I would have been able to play volleyball, which was one of the things I lived for while I was in school. I can't imagine how upset I would be! I'm still too selfish at 26 to have a kid..and I am like 10x less selfish now than I was at 16! I literally get sad thinking about all the stuff I would have had to miss. I know my parents would have helped me out...but only to the point that they should have as grandparents. They would not have stepped in to be the parents, which I think would have been the right thing for them to do!

I can see where these girls come from where they still want to go out and have fun with their friends..they are 16-18! They are doing what they are programed to do! Party and live life. sex people! My kids will wear a chastity belt from the age of 11 on. Don't go "oh Pam! 11?!" Ya. 11. I work with kids..I know what goes down. I was blown away by the things my 8th graders that I coached had to say. They made me blush! So yes. Chastity belt.11.No grandbabies for me until after a fantastic wedding...when they are 30.

And now Caitylin and Tyler?! How are they 17 or 18 whatever and never had a job?! I had to get a job so that I could get a car. Or did I get a car because I had a job? I don't remember. I just know that my mom got really sick of having my dad drive her to work because I had to use her truck everyday. :) If any of you are under 16 I recommend you using that one to get a car. It works! So anyways, these 2 moved into their own house and they just now realize that they need jobs. did you think you're going to pay your bills? Sometimes I wonder about them...

Oh Amber blah blah. You suck. but Leah's Halloween costume is adorable.

Ok and Maci? Why would you want to have a joint party with your baby daddy?? That seems like the worst idea in the history of bad ideas. 

Ok I'm done, I wanna go read for a bit. Later gators!