You Know You're a New Parent When...

• You're baby projectile vomits on your chin and chest, and you just laugh in shock.
• It's even better when this happens at midnight, and you were trying to let your husband sleep, but now you need him to clean up the baby so you can shower. I passed Parker off to Thane and went to rinse off quick, came back and Thane just looks at me, "He got me too. It's in my boxers."
• So back story: Parker eats every night at 11. No exceptions. It wouldn't matter if he just ate at 10:30....his little body wants food at 11. So last night he woke up at 10:15 screaming...so we fed him. Thane called me back in the bedroom to see what he was doing. He was taking a breather from drinking and Thane had him sitting up, his fingers were intertwined and he looked like Dr. Evil from Austin Powers. We were laughing, but I was like, "Oh Thane...he is thinking sumthin up..somehow he will get his 11pm feeding in." So I take him to rock him to sleep...throw up ensues...whole ordeal ends around 10:40. I just looked at Thane shocked. He had figured out how to make room in his stomach for his 11pm feeding. ;) (Note...he didn't actually eat at 11. nope. 12:30 for the record.)
• The most exciting thing to happen in your day is that your baby's umbilical cord falls off.
• I literally got excited. Now we don't have to worry about folding down his diapers anymore..which is a huge pain when your baby's legs naturally fold up and are totally in your way when trying to change him.
• You check to make sure your baby is breathing...every 5 minutes.
• I sometimes mess with his ear while he is napping...just to make his arm flail or hear him make an annoyed noise. In fact, after his first night I went to check on him before I got ready for my day. He didn't move so I panicked and tried again. I don't remember what I did, but finally he moved. I just laughed at myself and was getting something off the bed when Thane got up. I laughed and said, "Babe, is it normal to check you baby to make sure they are still breathing when you wake up in the morning?" As I say it, I'm turning just in time watch Thane try....and then his entire body spasm and Parker didn't move. So Thane freaked out and moved closer to the bassinet to poke him harder, or do whatever I just did. I instantly touched his back and told him I had just watched Parker move,.he was fine. The biggest sigh of relief came out him. So I am guessing it is normal for parent's to freak out and check. :)
• You sleep with your glasses on your face.
• This may not be true for everyone...but I have slept with my glasses on since January 11th. I am also propped up on pillows every night and can't move, but it is so much easier. If I need to get out of bed quick, I don't have to bother grasping for my glasses. Chances are if I did have to..they would end up on the floor...under his bassinet.

That's all I got right now..I'm sure there will be more later. :)

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