Both Ears Intact

You've all seen his hair. 

It's out of control.

I once had a Russian man stop me at Target and say, "Oh..what happened here?! Did he stick his finger in an outlet?" and his wife goes, "Ohhhh don't worry- it will settle down eventually." (way better story if you actually say that with a Russian accent and then a Wisconsin accent for his wife. Can you say mail order husband?)

I wanted to inform her that I in fact love his hair and it would make me very sad if it settled down. 

It has settled down, a bit. I am hoping this hair cut brings the crazy back. 

So he had this tuft of hair behind his left ear, it was so long it resembled a mullet. 

I'm not ok with mullets.

Too many of them at my wedding...I'm probably scared for life. 

So I grabbed some scissors and set him on his changing pad facing the wall.

"This will be so easy." I thought. 

No. Have you ever seen a kid look at scissors for apparently the first time ever? It makes cutting their hair without cutting their ear off damn near impossible. 

I tried to cut behind his left ear, head turn left. Tried to cut behind his right ear, head turn right. Cut on the top of his head, head slam back and look up. 

I would close the scissors and he would suddenly turn his head. He is really lucky he has both ears still. 

Oiy.

I got a few snips done...just enough to satisfy me. I messed his hair up a bit and stood him up.

I had just given my child a bowl cut.

Shit.

So the inner hair stylist kicks in. We need to take a bath. Wet hair cuts better right?

Bath time over, hair sticking straight up and I'm at it again.

Snip here. Snip there. With an angled scissors of course. Silly amateur Pam from 10 minutes ago was only cutting straight across resulting in a bowl cut. Stylist Pam was cutting at an angle like any good hair cutter. I was even trying to get the razor effect using my scissors. 

He looks ridiculous. Even Thane laughed.

The sides above his ears are super short and straight. The back is a little lopsided. BUT! 

His mullet is gone!! 

He's one.

He won't care about the lopsided back or the choppy sides. He will care that he only had to sport a mullet for a few months of his life.

You're welcome love.