My Birth Plan..

We just had our first birth class.

It was horrible.

The visuals. Oh the visuals.

I am a very squeamish person...so they didn't sit well with me.

I could handle the shot of the ugly lady literally pushing the head out....literally...TMI lady. Your husband should have positioned himself a liiiiittle better so we didn't have to see too..

However, I couldn't handle watching our teacher put her fist through a stuffed pelvis to show us how the babies head moves. The space between her fist and the "bones" wasn't a lot...and she had small hands.

 I also couldn't handle the cartoon of the baby coming out.

Some things are better left alone.

I know it has to happen, and I know I will seriously rock at it...but come on. No more visuals.
PLEASE. K, done.

I promise I'm fine. I'm not freaking out as much as it seems....I just think my thoughts are ridiculous so I like to share them. and I'm sure all you who have already gone through the big "Slide of Life" (as my chiropractor calls it) think its humorous..

I made a rough draft of our birth plan tonight. It goes like this:

1.) Eric Church will be there. Not in person though..eww. I will dig out my ipad, upload his CDs on it...along with Jason's new one...and some good Luke Bryan songs...and push this kid out while rocking out. I also might put some Enya on there too....who knows. She will be on a separate play list though. Maybe titled "Holy shit.....I'm going to die....."

2.) I will poop before I get to stage 3 of labor. In the toilet. Just saying. (Funny that ALL the ladies at class were super worried about this too...)

3.) I will pop this kid out...with only a few F bombs...and Thane will still know I love him...and have all the bones in his hand intact.  ( He apparently thinks his bones will not be....but I'll prove him wrong!)

That is all I have for now. Stay tuned for more. :)