My Googled Marriage Advice..

What a busy weekend. 

Thane and I traveled to Richland Center for my niece's wedding day. 

Saturday was such a rainy crappy day outside, but you know what they say....."If it rains on your wedding day you will be rich."

I wonder if there is a time limit on that? Like will you be rich right away? or does it take 10 years? 15 years? 

It rained on our wedding day...just in the morning though. So does that mean that we will be semi-rich? Kinda rich? I hope it happens soon.

During her ceremony the priest was saying their vows and I got kinda upset. 

When it was Nichole's turn to say what she would do, I promise to love you, honor you, yada yada...her list was MUCH longer than his. She had to vow to keep a good home, be a good wife and mother, do his laundry..etc. All he had to do was vow to be faithful and be a good husband. WHAT?! Why does she have like 7 extra things to do?? Way to set her up for that on day one. Jeesh.

Anyways, I was thinking tonight about all the advice you get when you are getting married. While some of it is crap and totally outdated, some people really do give you good advice. So I googled it.

Here is what I found..and what I think of it.

The first and most common piece of advice: Don't go to bed angry.

I'm gunna call bullshit on this one...unless they add, "stay up and fight." First off, how can anyone go to bed angry..besides your husband. I lay there and stew about it, thinking of clever things to say in my head until I finally blurt one out. Usually what I choose to blurt doesn't make sense because it is just part of a longer thought I just had, but I'm so angry or hurt that I can't form a whole thought. So it would go something like this. (* not a real fight...because I of course can't think of a real fight right now..)

In my head: If you had just put away the dishes the first time I asked, you wouldn't have had to freak out on my when I accidentally asked you to do it during the Packer game. AND if you would just get the garbage together on Thursday night you wouldn't always miss the bathroom one.

What I blurt out: If you put away the dishes on Thursday you wouldn't miss the bathroom!!!!!!

Ya. It happens. 

The advice I'd give off of this one though, don't ever go sleep on the couch. Think of what that means to the other person, and what it says to them. If you are parking it on the couch, it better have been one hell of a fight. I have only been close once, but in the long run...I'd rather sleep next to him pissed off...even if it means I accidentally touch his feet or something when I'm trying hard not to..than sleep on the couch and not accidentally touch his feet. 

#2: The secret to a happy marriage is two TV's!

Ohmygod..SOO true. 

If we only had one TV I don't think we would make it through baseball season. This man watches EVERY Brewer game possible. I however, do not. We don't see a lot of each other during baseball...but I do get to watch a lot of TV with Bernie while snuggling in bed.

#3: For each time you vent about your husband/wife to your friends, tell three positive stories.

hahahahahaahha. No way. My friends all know that Thane is a good guy and that I am beyond happy with him. If I am bitching to them about something...I am not in the mood to be all like, "So he forgot to get the milk..agaaaiiiin. But he is a great dog dad, great at his job, and loves me. But I didn't cook his damn dinner because I didn't have the milk!" No. I just bitch.

#4: Respect each other's privacy.

I don't know how I feel about this one. While I agree it is important to respect each other's space...I really don't think that you should have secrets from each other. I am totally ok with him looking at my phone, or checking my FB, or going through my email. Does he? No...because he could care less. He knows there is no reason he needs to. I do have him check things on my phone or on FB for me though. I ask him who texts him and he asks me. Not a big deal. We have nothing to hide...so I guess I don't get why people get so pissed when their other looks at their phone or fb or email?

#5: Never pass up an opportunity to say "I love you".

I beyond agree with this. I make sure to say I love you to Thane before we leave each other for the day..or for 10 minutes. I may say it too much? but you honestly never know when it is the last time you will say it. I even say it if I'm mad at him...its just not worth it not to. 

#6: It's ok to argue, but never use curse words to express your anger.

Whatever. We all know a few cuss words get your point across more effectively. 

#7: Marriage is forever. You have to stick it out no matter how miserable you are.

Ha! I love this one. I don't have much to say about this one, because I have yet to be miserable with him. I have heard that some marriages can go a year or two and be really really hard.  The key is to just not give up. I told Thane last night that I am really glad we have been together for as long as we have. We have been through so much together, so many big events in our lives. If we ever hit these rough patches that I have heard about, I hope to look back at all we have been through and know its worth it to work it out. The D word will NEVER be tossed around in this house. It's not an option.

Well all....that is about all I have in my for tonight. My bed is yelling my name. 

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