Anxiety...

I had to let the "I'm in Charge at Night" reins go to Thane this weekend.

He was in charge Friday night, because I was going to have a long day on Saturday. 

Dream: Sleeping in my own bed..all night! I knew that I'd wake up when Parker cried, but then Thane would get up with him..close the door..and I would be sound asleep again.

Reality: I slept like shit. Literally the worst night of sleep ever. 

To start the night- we moved the bassinet from my side of the bed to a more central location in the room so Thane could get to it easier. Wow- I only checked on him 18 times before I was convinced he was ok and I could lay down without worrying. 

Seriously? How am I going to be when he moves to his crib!?

Apparently my body has adjusted to staying awake until at least midnight, so for his 11pm feeding...I was still wide awake. So I got up too...and threw away the diapers that I had been meaning to take out for a day or two. 

I stayed up long enough to laugh at Thane for having to change a super poopey diaper..and then I tried to go to sleep. 

I finally fell asleep around midnight, and then proceeded to wake up on and off again the entire night. 

In no way did I think Thane couldn't do it...he just does it different than me. Maybe I'm a control freak who is way more attached to her child than she realized until this weekend. 

Big deal. 

I got up with him at 3 to feed him and looked over at the TV tray that is next to our recliner and saw Oreos and an empty glass. Really? I asked Thane about it and he told me that he got hungry watching Parker eat..so he needed a snack too. Oiy.

I passed the baby duty off at 4:30 when I woke up in the chair, and headed back to bed. I woke up again around 5 to Thane coming back in the room and going straight to the bathroom...with no baby?

Well my anxiety kicked in. Where was Parker? There is no way Thane left him laying in the living room somewhere while Bernie was chillin out there too? I could only picture my baby laying on the couch and Bernie sprawled out next to him. 

My anxiety was equally matched with my need to show Thane that I was fine with not being in charge. I didn't want to be checking up on him because I knew in my rational side of my brain that Parker was fine. If he was in the living room, obviously he'd be in his swing. 

Well...anxiety won. 

I grabbed my glasses and slid out of bed as quietly as possible. Just as I reached the door....Parker made a noise in his bassinet. Lord knows why I wouldn't have just checked there first?

Thane came to bed and I asked what he was doing and he informed me that he had put Parker back in his bed, and then went back out to finish a movie he was watching.

Really babe? It's like 5am and you are staying up to watch a movie??

6:30 finally came and I could get up to get ready for my day...Thane's first day all alone with Parker.

I will say, I am proud of myself. I only had slight anxiety once...and I really enjoyed my day alone. And bonus: When I came home...my baby was still alive and happy ;)

Amazing

The things Parker does literally amaze me.

This kid is such a miracle...I can't believe he is a part of me and Thane. How overwhelmingly cool. He is super cool.

He already has perfect timing.

For what you ask?

Well...to make me stop whatever I was juuuuuuuuuuuuuust about to do.

Example: The other day I realized he was sleeping-I could shower. So I looked at him quick- still breathing and sound asleep- good to go! I throw on the monitors and run to the shower. I briefly contemplate just skipping my hair, but then decided naw...taking a real shower. I laugh to myself at the thought of how he would probably wake up and cry while I had soap in my hair. Ha..soooo funny...til it happens.

I just got my hair all soaped up and he starts to fuss. Ok- what to do? Rinse hair quick and then run out...or just run out, get him to stop fussing, and then finish my hair. I rinsed out my hair quick, turned off the water, and he stopped. I waited a second, and slowly turned the water back on. Crying started. Turned the water off...crying stopped. I'm not joking.

So at this point, I feel that my child is just messin with me and I quickly finish my shower...which of course he cries through and stresses me out. I finally run out to him, feeling horrible, and just as I get to him.....he's done crying. Done. Really Parker?? Really?

Example 2 for perfect timing: I spend over an hour rocking with him in the chair...he's gotta be asleep. Right? So I creep to the bedroom and one of two scenarios happen.

• Scenario 1: I get within a foot of his bassinet and his eyes literally fly open and either starts to cry, or just looks at me all like, "Heeeeeeeey mom!!!! Nice try. Hee hee...I'm cute." 
• Scenario 2: I get all the way to his bassinet, slowly put him in it, stand there for a minute to see if he is going to cry, when he doesn't I crawl into bed quietly and super slow so he doesn't hear me, push Bernie off my covers and get comfy. Just as I get comfy and close my eyes, Parker starts talking. "Mom. Mom. Mom. Mooooooooooooooom." When I lean over....he just looks at me and says, "Hi." Just like Stewie. I swear. 

Another reason he is super cool already: Today I had him on his side while trying to burp him, and he lifted his leg....and farted. 

It happened. 

His dad was so proud.  

Based on these examples and so many more....me and this kid are going to get along just fine. He is already acting like his mom. :)

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Ha!!!

I Just Need a Minute..

At this moment I should be playing with Parker-he is actually awake-while petting Bernie so he doesn't feel like I hate him-due to the cone of shame- but my God...I need a minute.

I have been holding Parker for almost 10 hours straight. Mind you...I love holding my baby...but I also like to sleep normally and do things with my hands while awake. 10 hours is a little long.

He has been doing amazing at sleeping in his bassinet..2 nights in a ROW! annnnd now we are back to the chair. Whatever, at this point, I am over the "He has to sleep in it!!" and now I'm on to "I just need to sleep!!!" I don't really mind having to sit in the chair with him either, I kinda like our snuggle time. I will say, I wish it wasn't every night, but you take what you can get right? :)

So Bernie, ohhh Bernie. He scratched open his stitches AGAIN. He was SO close to being healed, and then 30 seconds of me not focusing...and BOOM. Open.

Our amazing vet came over, yes to my house because it is "easier for her to travel than it is for me to" (have I mentioned I love her?) and she is thinking that he is so close to healing that we don't need to restitch. He will have a sweet scar- but come one. Scars are badass. and considering he already has a sweet one from being shot...who cares?

So now, he is wearing a Cone of Shame. He hasn't worn one since he was a puppy and got fixed. He hates it and is walking around all pathetic and "feel bad for me." He kept getting stuck on the coffee table this morning while trying to get on the couch, so I finally got up to help him. Talk about sad. He has also taken to just standing in the middle of the room with his head down. Just standing there. Head down. Zero tail wag. Ohhhhh my poor puppy. :(

When I finally woke up for the day, I took it off him because I could keep an eye on him..and he proceeded to scratch it twice, while I was tyring to make my breakfast, while Parker was screaming for a bottle. Talk about overwhelming.

I dropped my knife, ran to get Bernie's cone, while yelling "Parker! I'll be right there baby! The bottle is already made."

Best part, I have no idea how to put the damn cone on..so I kinda figured it out? Bernie is currently pouting, successfully making me feel horrible.

Parker is now sleeping in his swing- missed that chance.

I feel better. I still need more coffee and another half of a bagel..but I feel better.

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This just made my day better: Sucks to be these people..

Paybacks

Ohh Parker baby-

You were awake all night last night. Screaming about 45% of the time. Mommy cried a few times, especially when I had to wake up your dad because your bottle dryer rack somehow magically fell on the floor all on its own.

This is besides the point. If I have to be up for hours at night, sitting in the recliner, I would not want it to be with anyone else but you.

Even when you are screaming, I love you.

Sometimes I just have to laugh at you, because when you get really worked up...you look like an old man. ;)

Onto paybacks.

While I love you more than anything....I will get you back for these sleepless nights.

Don't worry, it won't be until you are in high school.

Last night as you were screaming, I smiled because I may have been plotting.

At random times in your high school career, especially if you have a girlfriend, I will come into your room, throw on your light, and scream.

I will scream until you get up and make me a snack.

Then I will make you read me a chapter from your history book, or if you are struggling in any area in school it will be from that book. (except math....god I hate math.)

If I ever catch you making out with your girlfriend, I will do this in hyper drive. And I may call her parents and have them do it to her.

But until then, I will hold you while you cry (and I may cry a bit), I will sing to you while you cry, I will pat your back and your butt at the same time while you cry...but I'll love you no less.

You're my favorite Parker Burrito. (Don't tell your dad....or Bernie.)

Love-
Mom

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Baby on Board!

When I used to see those signs on people's cars I would just roll my eyes. This E Card sums it up...

I saw this months ago and laughed. Sooo true. (see, there really is an E card for everything!)

 

Now...I know what they are for.

 

They are an explanation to the driver behind you why you are driving like an asshole in the snow or pouring rain..or just in general.

 

I took my burrito to the doctor today. His breathing was horrible sounding last night so we slept in the chair together all night next to the humidifier. He was so fussy laying on my chest, not normal for him. So of course I worried.

 

I knew I'd take him in today, I even set my alarm for 8am so I could call in, but all I could think was..great. It is going to be a horrible day tomorrow and I have to drive my 2 week old child. Considering I have managed to make it all winter without driving in snow..until today, I was a little nervous.

 

Yup. The roads are shit. If you have to go somewhere...give yourself a LOT of extra time.

 

Anyways, I had to take the long way out of our subdivision because last winter I took the hill and ended up in the retaining pond. NOT something I wanted to try today. I was stressed out enough. Getting to dr appointments on time...ya beyond stressful.

 

I probably drove 40 mph? Maybe that is pushing it. Of course I got stuck behind a Ford Focus on PD that was stuck on the smallest hill on PD. Really?? I had to wait forever to get around them because of the traffic coming the other way and all I could think, "Please don't let me get stuck! I have a baby and a dr appointment..." Thankfully my new all wheel drive car rocks and I made it around him.

 

The way back? Oh Lord. 2 people in the ditch. The second guy, I don't know if he had anyone coming for him, and I would have stopped because there was no one on the roads, but once again...baby on board. This mama was focused on getting home safely. Sorry buddy. But ya, seeing 2 cars off roading it makes you grip your steering wheel a little tighter, stare at the road a little harder, and worry a lot more.

 

So to sum it up...I get the signs. At least if you live in WI. If you live somewhere where it doesn't snow..then its just stupid. ;)

 

Parker is ok by the way. He just has a super stuffy nose, so his doctor flushed him out and showed me how to do it. The humidifier is going to be on all day.

 

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Ohhhh Canada!

Dear Lord...please don't let Parker be sick.

I am now 90% sure that he isn't.

He slept hooooooorrbile last night, which was made worse by the fact that he slept awesome 2 nights ago. Like only waking up 3 times to eat awesome. And then last night.....oh boy. He wouldn't sleep in his bassinet let alone on my chest. #joysofanewborn.

So there was that and then before Thane went to work he says, "Is he breathing really heavy? Like panting?"

I honestly had no idea. How horrible is that? I was so stressed out from not having any sleep and had been more focused on holding him and patting his back to get him to sleep- I hadn't noticed if he was breathing funny.

Well, since he said that I noticed it big time. I got up to change his diaper and listened to him scream. (This kid HATES being naked, let's hope that continues until he gets married.) He sounded wheezy and stuffy. Great. My 2.5 week year old has a cold. NOT cool.

I call my mom crying. I cried? I know...crazy. Between the no sleep thing and the thought of having to take him to the doctor because he was sick already- I couldn't handle it. Him being sick so little is my biggest fear. My mom claims that newborns can't get sick....and dear Baby Gods I hope she is right.

I get off the phone with her, promising I'll call her when we wake up from our nap and just stare at him.

Then...he starts his sneezing fit. He has those. They are hilarious. He sneezes continuously...the most so far is five. Newborns sneezing = cute stuff.

Then it happens.

Canada comes out of his nose.

No lie.

And weird...he can breath again....and sleep. THANK GOD.

So now, I am still listening for his wheezy breaths, but so far nothing. I really hope it was just Canada that was blocking his breathing.

Yes friends. This is the second blog about gross baby stuff. Poop and now Canada? Welcome to my new life. :) I don't even care that some of you may be thinking, "Really Pam? This is what you blog about now?" Cause ya know what...my baby isn't sick!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

I could have blogged about what was on The View today. So consider yourself lucky? (By the way, Schmitt from New Gril was on. LOOOVE!)

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Since sitting beside Thane on the weekends doing nothing but holding Parker and watch TV is how we roll now....this is pretty perfect. :)

Let's Make a Deal..

Ok, so this post officially makes me a mom.

It's about poop.

So yesterday morning, Parker wakes up at 6:30, and I did NOT want to get out of bed. So I made a deal.

If Thane would get up and change him and get his bottle ready, I would change every diaper until 6pm that night.

Thane took that deal in a heartbeat.

Back story: Our babe doesn't poop every day. So we both new that today...sigh...it was the day. It was like a ticking time bomb...

I changed him all day...and I am developing a complex because I swear..I suck at changing his diaper. He pees through the leg hole or something, but only when I change him. UGH.

At one point I catch a whiff..our baby is smelly.

It was 5:50.

I pray its not...but of course, it was.

He just took a poop and probably lost half his body weight.

Really? Really? 10 minutes to spare.

I was SO close.

I think Thane and Parker have it in for me.

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