The "Asshole Gene"

I haven't blogged since June. Oiy. (is that even how you spell it?)

I have been requested to start up again...and I can't deny my friends. So here we go.

I found my new favorite website today. www.dog-shaming.com. If you have a dog, you will absolutely love this site. I scrolled through the first page and I was laughing so hard I was crying. It's amazing.

People send in a picture of their dog, with a sign sharing with everyone what asshole thing their dog did. Because let's face it, even though we all love our dogs (and you all know Bernie is my first born baby), they have ZERO manners. You may think you have trained them well, and you may in fact have done so, but they never lose that "asshole gene." They all have it. They are born with it. The gene that makes them do things that are unacceptable in our world, but in their world it is second nature.

This gene causes them to act impulsively and do things that they have gotten in trouble for a THOUSAND times, but it causes them so much joy they just HAVE to do it. Then when you get home...they cower in the corner thinking, "Oh shit.....I didn't hide the evidence."


 In Bernie's case, he forgot to throw away the creamer container, or pick up the empty bread bag, or clean up the garbage from the bathroom after he dug through it to find tampons. In his case, he forgot to grab my hair dryer to dry the GIGANTIC wet spot he left on the couch from licking his paw ALL day. (I swear he thinks he tastes like peanut butter.)

So anyways, I thought I'd share some of funniest posts I found today. :)

Enjoy

Ok..there are a lot! Ha..sorry!!

He looks so sad...heehee.

This one made me cry. Hilarious.



I love how the dog looks...but hey lady, or guy, teach your kids to flush!

Beyond funny...unless it's your baby.

This is totally Bernie. Every morning.

 

 



So as some of you may know, we are expexing Baby Sutter in Feb!! If you don't know...clearly you don't stalk me enough on Facebook.

 

While I promise not to let this awesome and amazing event overtake my blog enteries and Facebook status updates, I can't really promise it. Because let's be serious...who can actually keep that promise? Not many people.

 

I often worry that I am in fact not pregnant, just have a increased metabolism right now. I have been VERY lucky with my symptoms. I haven't had any morning sickness. Certain smells do make me feel very gagey to the point where I may lose it..but they are really random ones...and hit me with total surprise.

 

One bad side effect though...the inner bitch in my head is taking over. I can't help it. I am really embracing the "if you have nothing nice to say, then don't say anything at all" thing.  I don't talk much at times. If you were in my head you would be shocked. All like, "Pamela!!! You seem like such a sweet person! What are all these WORDS and sassy comments in your head about?! Don't you dare say them!"

 

It happended today, I had a situation where I found it was better to keep my mouth shut and let my friend deal with it rather than having some smart ass comment come out in a snotty tone.

 

So in retrospect, I am proud of myself that I can control it...I just wish the bitchface in my head would shut up sometimes. Yaaaa meeee!!!!

 

No worries though, I am actually pregnant. I have heard B Sutt's heart beat twice, and its beyond amazing. and scares the poo out of me at the same time.

 

We are having a KID. We will be responsible for ANOTHER PERSON. We can barely keep the dishwasher empty...

 

So anyways, I am about to crash after the day I had. Hope to see you all back tomorrow :)

 

Pinterest Find:

 

 

Even though this is for 2011...it still works:) I think I may actually do some of these!!! I love Fall...mostly because of Halloween!! Stores already have decorations out!!!!!!