Saturday, May 30, 2015

Did I Stutter?

So last night we are having a movie night and when Nemo was finished we didn't change the channel. America's Got Talent was on and usually I'm not a fan, at all, of these types of shows. They bore me. Oh...you're a great singer. Good for you. Oh you can dance? Amazing! I can't but huge props to you for learning how!

I watched a few minutes of the show, knowing Thane would want to change it, but we got sucked in with the first act. and then the next act. and then the act after that. We didn't want to change it. 

The final act came out and its a 21 year old guy with curly hair. He opens his mouth and can't talk. He stutters on almost every word. 

I got a little peeved. I thought they were showing his act to make fun of him, or it was part of his act and he was making fun of people who stutter. 

Nope. Not at all. This poor guy was playing softball and the ball took a bad hop and hit him in the throat and damaged something. Now he stutters with every sentence. 

I stared at the tv in shock. 

What a terrible accident. I can't imagine how much that had to have hurt, and now his entire life has changed. He does comedy now to cope. How amazing and brave.

Here is a link I found: Stuttering Comedian

As someone who stutters I can't imagine getting up on stage in front of a live audience and talk. 

In my experience the following things really suck:

*If I have a witty comment in a conversation, its a lot less funny when you can't spit out a word in the middle, or you have to repeat it because you said it so fast no one heard you..annd then you stutter while trying to say it again. The moment is gone and it's no longer funny. 

*I can't order a Miller Lite. 

Luckily, I hate Miller Lite, but when you go to college in Milwaukee a lot of bars didn't have many other options..or they always had a good deal on Miller Lite. Ya, try going to the bar and getting a bartender to finally pay attention to you, knowing they have like 3 seconds to get your order and move on, and you have to say a phrase that you can't get out of your throat because the words always seem to get stuck. 

Mortifying. 

I finally stopped drinking it, no matter how good of a deal it was, and I refused to order it for anyone. 

*My job in college was calling people to ask for scholarship donations. Really dumb job to have when you can't talk. 

*Our wedding day. 

Obviously not all of it, just that I was obsessing about the vows. I knew I would stutter through them standing in front of like 300 people. How embarrassing. Thank God I was so focused on Thane that the words all came to me. 

My triggers are stress and being really tired. 

Being pregnant is horrible for it. The first month this time around I had forgotten how bad I get, but I finally realized I couldn't talk because I was constantly exhausted. It was *really* hard to give tours at work during this time.

First off, in the afternoons I was so tired I could barely concentrate and then add in the fact that I can't focus enough to get out certain words...ya. Embarrassing. 

I have found ways to cope, ways to refocus my brain quickly so I can get the word I am stuck on out. I know that words that start with "M" are a big obstacle for me. Which is really fun because we service the Middleton School District and for some reason I can NOT say Middleton anymore.  

Anyways, the point of this blog, if you are talking to someone who is stuttering, don't be an asshole and make fun of them. It makes them feel like shit and is really embarrassing. 

Chances are, if you make fun of me when I'm trying to talk, I will stop talking all together. Sometimes it takes enough effort to even say anything...I don't need people point out that I stutter. 

Trust me. I'm well aware. 

For me, if you know the word I'm trying to say and I'm struggling, please for the love of God, say it for me. I don't get offended...I appreciate it. It's more embarrassing to sit there with my mouth open trying to force the word out than for you to just say it for me. 

I recently found out that not everyone feels that way though. Some people do get offended when you do that. It throws them off and makes it worse. So if you know the person well enough...ask them. 

But in the meantime, just let them talk and be patient. 


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