Oh what a crazy Friday night I have had!! I came home from work and took a nap (so now it is 11:37 and I'm not tired at all even though I didn't go to bed til 1 last night. Ugg.) Then we went to Main Street for supper. I don't know why I suggested it...their food really isn't that fantastic. Kind of wasted $22. Whatever...it was a date. I liked it :) We got home and I had to look up some card designs for the wedding and baby shower I have this weekend.
Both of the cards I made are pretty simple, but I still like them. Sometimes simple is better. I forgot to take a picture of the wedding picture.lame. It was the way simple one though..so I can make it again without much trouble.
I just decided I'm going to write a book. A Day in the Life of Bernie. This is a rough draft.
Pg 1. Hi, my name is Bernie. I'm a fat Weimarainer. My mom calls me "big boned" but I know she is just trying to make me feel better and not develop an eating disorder. I'm fat..and I like it.
Pg 2: My days are pretty busy. I have a lot to do, and not much time to get it done.
Pg 3/4: My day starts around 5:10am, when mom and dad start moving around a little bit. Usually one of them gets up at this time, so I know that I can go outside and get some fresh air and pretend to pee. For some reason, they don't always get up this early...I don't think their alarm clocks go off, so I step in to save the day! If it is 5:30 and they aren't up yet..I pace around their bed a few times making sure that my collar makes a lot of noise. Sometimes if that doesn't get them to do anything, I shove my nose really hard on one of their arms. When this doesn't work either I give up and climb into bed with them. Like I said, I'm fat so when I crawl in bed between them they make room for me to crawl up and share a pillow. Once one of them FINALLY gets out of my spot, I take it over and try to spread out as much as possible on that side of the bed so my other parent still thinks someone is next to them. The things I do for these people...
Pg 5/6: Once mom and dad go to work I have the whole house to myself. Depending on who turned the TV on for me, I either sit on the couch and watch ESPN or the news all day. I like it when the news is on because then I can watch The View at 10. I love Barbara. I spend the day moving from couch to couch, licking my paw where ever I want, and watching TV. Sometimes I grab a toy to gnaw on..I love my toys.
Pg 7/8: Around 4:30 I prepare myself for the return of mom and dad. They expect me to get into something while they are gone. I was really good at getting in the garbage for a while. Man..they loved that. They would come home and shout for joy when they saw aaalllll the coffee grounds I was able to pull out of the garbage and put all over the carpet. I am probably the most thoughtful dog ever. For some reason dad put this thing they call a "child lock" on the garbage drawer, so now I can't open it. I moved on to the side cupboard...there is bread in there!!! Dad put a stupid lock on that door too. Sometimes they leave the creamer out for me so I have a snack. Anyways..I find something quick to grab from the kitchen and put it in the living room and then perch myself on the back of the couch waiting for them to come home.
Pg 9/10: When mom and dad get home I get SO excited and grab a toy. I run to the door to make sure they see me and know I am still there. I think they would worry if I didn't show up at the door.. I don't want to make them worry. I spend the rest of the night licking my paws so that dad can yell at me to stop. It is the highlight of his night...he would probably be bored without me.
Pg 11/12: I start to nap around 8 and then move to cuddle with mom and dad when they go to bed. I'm kind of a cuddle slut. It's my mom's fault.
Pg 13/14: That's my day in a nutshell. It's a hard life...but someone has to do it!!
New York Best Sellers list? I think so.
If you made it this far to read what I am typing now..you rock at life.
I love Bernie's Book. You should so publish it like those online albums you can make.
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