So I'm walking into the hustle and bustle of the OR and I begin to panic a little bit.
I stated to remember the surgery...the aftermath...the recovery.
I feel a little bit like a kid who just wants to run the other way but Lord knows that wouldn't help this situation.
I sat down on the table and started to cry.
My nurse grabbed my hand, "What's wrong!? Are you ok!?"
I nodded and said, "I just really hate all of this. I hate this part." I waved my hand around...and realized it looked like I was being a baby about the giant needle that was about to get pushed into my back. "Oh wait, no not you!" to the anesthesiologist, "You're my favorite."
My nurse and doctor stood there helping me through my contractions, making sure I was calm and talking me through what he was doing behind me. I still am so thankful my doctor took the time to stand there with me and comfort me. I know she didn't have anything else going on at that exact moment, but still. She took the time to rub my shoulder and make sure I was doing ok and it meant the world. Once again...Madison Women's Health. Can't say enough good things about them!!
Drugs were in and and introductions started. I had officially hit the shift change. Everyone I had just met and spent the last few hours with were going home. My anesthesiologist was going home. My nurses whom I had come to really like were going home. At least my doctor was staying.
The anesthesiologist I had met and talked with before was the one to put in my epidural which was good but now he was heading out. I was a little concerned until I heard him talking with the new guy. The new guy didn't just trust everything he was saying, they both walked through everything that had just been done and he was checking my previous guy's work. Comforting when you know he was at the end of his night shift and probably super tired.
Time to lay down. A bunch of people came over to help me lay down. Ever try to lay down when you can't feel the bottom half of your body? Ya...it's interesting.
Surgery prep began.
My anesthesiologist took a crazy cold instrument and put it on my face. "Feel how cold this is? Let me know when you feel that again." He started somewhere down where it was numb and slowly drug it up.
I have never been so focused on what a doctor was doing.
I needed to make sure that I couldn't feel that shit...can you imagine!? Talk about stressful. I could kind of feel it but not the coldness. I didn't feel the cold until up by my chest and then I was worried that it was to far up. Did the anesthetic work *too* well?? Why could I not feel anything until my chest??
Seriously...I worry about *everything.*
Sheet went up and I began to feel awful.
They asked how I was doing and I let them know that I felt very light headed and was seeing black. I was about to pass out. That was new.
Thane walked in as they were shoving a puke bag next to my head. He was a bit confused and I instructed him that if I yelled "BAG" he needed to be on his game. I'm not sure how that goes. How does one vomit into a bag while laying flat on their back unable to move at all without chocking and dying?
Surgery started and thankfully I didn't feel a thing. Phew.
I was still light headed and nauseous for a little bit but that went away and I tried to think about other things...like if I die on the table will Thane be ok with 3 babies? How will he afford daycare? Would he qualify for assistance? Yes....I'm dramatic.
C-Sections are so strange.
You can't feel anything but you can hear everything. It's suuuuuuuuuuuuuper gross. I feel them tugging on things and my body is moving but I have no idea what they are doing. I tried really hard to not focus on what they were saying. I didn't want to know when they were moving things..or taking things out until it was my baby.
Camden apparently started to cry before they took him out. Our nurse commented on how crazy it sounds when that happens. I finally heard him when they pulled him out all the way.
Talk about an awesome moment. The moment I feel like everyone holds their breath for. "Is my baby ok??" Insert baby cry and *huge* exhale from mom.
A nurse brought him over so we could see and said, "Here he is!!!!" and then her eyes got really wide.
I had been asked approximately 800 times who was going to tell me the sex of our baby. I wanted Thane too and was looking forward to it. What a cool moment for my husband!
The moment the nurse walked past the curtain Thane spun around to see him and look. The nurse announced it on accident and he then spun back to me with a huge grin on his face, "It's a boy!!!!"
At that moment, I could care less that she said it. I almost didn't even catch it. I was waiting for Thane to tell me and I was so focused on him.
The second I saw him I knew his name was Camden. It had to be. It's was such a strange moment. I saw him and had no doubt. I wasn't so sure driving in and I told Thane we would have like 4 days to figure out a name so he could just calm the f down (remember...the theme of this labor was swearing)...but at that moment I knew. His name was perfect for him.
And no, I was not surprised Cam was a boy.
I had a total mom moment where something told me he was a boy. It was one of the most calming experiences I've ever had. I was putting away a vacuum at work after cleaning up a kid's projectile vomit and as I walked back to the store room I head a voice, "It's a boy." I stopped walked, tears came to my eyes, and I smiled. Considering the owner has a direct line to God..it's very likely that God himself was hanging out in our break room enjoying one of the massage chairs and felt the need to tell me. I know that sounds insane...and I agree...but it really did happen! And no..it wasn't Bob whispering from his desk.
Anyways...Thane walked over with the nurse to get him cleaned up and they started to put me back together.
Remember my birth plan? Get my baby out and don't leave anything behind? I heard one of the nurses begin their inventory count.
She would announce something, say how many they needed, and start counting. One of the times she said, "Blah blah, 5. 1,2,3,4..............................................................."
I almost died.
"Where was 5!?!?!? Where was it!?!? Ohmygod they left it in me." (All of that was in my head..I didn't freak out out loud.)
About 7 minutes later, ok it was probably actually like 3 seconds, she goes "Oh! 5. It's in her hand still. Ha ha."
Ya ha ha lady.
Thane got to bring Camden back over to me once he was cleanish and such. I started to cry and my glasses fogged up but I was still able to see him...kinda.
"We have another boy! Congrats momma!"
I said, "Hi Camden!!!" and touched his head. Thane just looked at me...like "You sure about his name??" I nodded..."No doubt."
Thane sat holding him and I just stared crying. Hormones you guys. Hormones. A nurse came over and asked me if I wanted to hold him.
Originally I had and I had even asked our nurse to make sure it happened. It's super awkward to hold a newborn on you when you are laying flat on your back with a huge sheet basically at your shoulders. The baby lays almost on your neck and you can't see them very well. It's also super awkward for your husband to figure out how to lay said newborn safely on you. Nurses are pros though. They can flop your baby on you like a no other.
I wasn't feeling the best so I opted out of holding him but told Thane to get his fill because once we got to recovery I wasn't letting go. The nurse nodded and looked at Thane and was like, "Well geesh, at least hold him so she can see him!!" She adjusted him in Thane's arms and I finally got to really see my baby.
Kid had SO much hair. No wonder I had heart burn the last few weeks.
It would be another few hours before I could really look at him. Half the time he was snuggled up by my face or Thane was holding him. The entire time he was totally covered up because A. he was just born and B. he was a "late term premie."
They finished sewing me up and they sent Thane and Camden out to our recovery room. Instead of picking up the blanket and having like 15 people move me to a new bed (something that had terrified me every surgery. I'm not a light person..) they now have like an inflatable raft. Coolest thing ever. They just blew it up and gently shoved me over.
Game over....time to head to the recovery room.
I'm officially a mom to 3 boys.
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