Now THAT'S How You Blog!

Hmm...I should probably blog tonight. I've kinda been on a roll this week!

One of my resolutins this year is to learn how to sew.

It is March 29th.....still haven't touched a sewing machine.

I blame my mom. Sorry mom...but lets face the facts. It's your fault.

One Christmas break from college, so like a whole month I cut out squares from random fabric I bought. A MONTH! I put them all neatly in a basket to wait until someone showed me how to use a damn sewing machine. This was before I met Thane.

We have been together 6 years.

So that basket....it is stil behind mom's couch.

Sadest story you've heard all day right? I thought so.

If I knew how to sew I could make this:

Find out how here.

I bet I'd look like her too. Ugh. Thanks mom for making me insewliterate and fat.

 

Well this was a poor attempt at a blog....sorry to those of you who made it this far. Keep on keepin on!

Pinterest:

Beyond cool tat. I wouldn't want to lay there while they did this though. Awkward.....

In honor of my favorite Katie post..about zombies. Zombie hunter cupcakes!

Here is her Blog about Zombies

 

Ha! Bet my title made you think this was a good blog! Heehee....

Loves!!

My Take on the Earthquake...

If you have been following the news at all lately, you will have heard about the strange booms in Clintenville, WI. Citizens are worried...some think they should evacuate.

These strange booms went on for days, almost a week I think. Today on the news they said people heard them again...and they were louder. Here is an article for you to catch up
Strange Booms

So now scientists are saying that it was a 1.5 magnatute earthquake. Or something like that...I am always putting on makeup when they talk about it, so my facts may not be 100%...don't quote me. I'm not a news anchor. Geesh.

Anyways...they say earthquake. I have other theories.

Theory 1: Aliens.

I think it is a possability that aliens are breaking out of the earth and will soon invade Wisconsin. How did the aliens get in the earth? Well...maybe they started to drill in China and just didn't stop? (That's how it works in cartoons...) That is really my only argument for aliens....no its not! They are SO advanced....I bet they were mining for iron ore, because that is what they eat and their planet is out of it, so they had to come to ours. I bet that is it. Well are they in for a shocker when they get out..the sun is bright guys....put on your sunglasses!!!

Oh! What if they are allergic the sun!?!? man..that would really help us out when the invasion happens.

Theory 2: Transformers.

We've all seen the movies. They are real. Maybe there is a Decepticion buried under Clintonville. Maybe the next movie will be filmed in WI! Hot damn....I'm going to go write the script. I wonder if Megan Fox will be in my movie...

Theory 3: The Loch ness Monster.

Now this is some scary shit. I know Bessie needs water...but I'm sure she found a way to adapt to her new surroundings...underground in Clintonville. I mean, how else do you think she has survived for SO many years? Survival of the Fittest people. I bet she is underground, and slowly throwin her big head around and making some strides on bustin free. Maybe the aliens put her there? or she fell through their hole in China?

See!! It is near land.....I bet there is some kind of a pond or small lake in Clintonville. This theory may be the winner...

awwww man.......ok. Citizens of Clitonville: looks like Bessie is a liiiiittle angry. You should probably evacuate.

As a last ray of hope for those citizens.....here is a Stay Strong poster I saw on FB:

Pinterest finds:

To go with my theme.....

I wouldn't want to write this accident report....

and I'm off.

Night loves.

St Patrick's Day Baby!!!!!!!!

How cool would that be. Not to have it on St Patrick's Day, that would suck actually. I mean the other part of...ya know.

Bow chicka bow wow.

Oh woah..wait. haha..I bet one or two of your thought that I was announcing something. HA!

So anyways....if that was what I had been announcing....man. that would be the perfect icing on our relationship...so us.

But it's not. So anyways.

St Patrick's Day...the day after, everyone was jacked up about green poop. (wow this blog just got real.) I actually got text messages about people's....poop. It was an interesting day.

So I was thinking tonight....what if someone did get preggo on St Patrick's Day..would their baby look like this:

YIKES. HOW SCARY!!! the article for this picture was "Scientists make Green babies..." I would click on it but it is probably a virus. So either Scientists made these guys, they were concived on St Patrick's Day, or it is PhotoShopped. I'm going with #2.

Don't you wish you could spend a day in my head?

Pinterest find for the day:

If men read this blog..they would be poking thier ladies and giong "See! See!!! It's true!"

and this made me giggle....

Peace out loves.

Know How I Know You're Going to Hell?

 

You just laughed at this.  Yup.

First class ticket to hell.

FYI: I may have burst out laughing when I saw it. I'll meet you there.

and in honor of Sara's birthday! (which is today)..here is a quick recap of our weekend...

 I think that pretty much sums it up..what do you guys think?

Have a great night loves!!

When Gnomes Attack...

shit gets ugly.

No no..jokes. 

I haven't blogged in 10 days! Ugh. I need life to slow down. I have been working and going on long walks and then struggling to make it past 930 for 2 weeks now. I don't know how I'm not sick...so enough complaining...recap of my life!!

Last weekend was the Frolic....oh wait. No. Last weekend was St Patrick's Day, I just acted like it was the Frolic. We spent the day at the Sandrock Saloon...and beyond that the details are hazy. Let's just say it was such a fantastic day that on Sunday people looked at me surprised I wasn't dead and asked, "Pam...you ok today?" Ugh. Ya. One of those days.

This weekend was Sara's Golden Birthday bus!!! 

So to my blog title. Sara hates lawn gnomes. Why such an irrational fear? I have a theory that one time when she was a kid..someone put a gnome on a pillow next to her while she was sleeping and when she woke up she peed herself. If something made me pee myself...I'd be scared of them too.

I think when she sees gnomes she thinks of this.....

 

and I bet she thinks this will happen one day...when she has a pool of course...

yuck Sara...clean your pool.

Wow...even R.L. Stine saw the market for killer gnomes....

In Case You Want to Buy It...

So anyways. We all know that Sara is scared of gnomes...so we wanted to help her get over her fear. One of her friends got her a self help/strategy book.....

this book is seriously so funny I was crying...

 

So I have heard somewhere that the best way to get over a fear is to just face it head on. So we took that approach. Sara, you're welcome. 

 

We all got her gnomes. There were twins who loved to read. One that loved to frolic with turtles. 2 brothers who seemed to be rabbit whisperers. 2 tiny gnomes to stick in plants. One was so tired he was taking a nap. One was even a solar light to help keep her safe. Oh...oh no..now that I am thinking about it..one did have a shovel. SARA!!! SARA!!!! WATCH OUT FOR THE SHOVEL!!!! GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!!!!!!

 

 

Let's all pause here...and say a quick prayer for Sara that she can dodge a shovel....

and moving on!

The bus was awesome. We didn't go far, but it was nice to all kick back and relax and not worry about who was driving home. We were able to act like we were 21 again..and I love those weekends. 

Hope you all had a great weekend. Much love.

Happy Birthday tomorrow Sara!!!!! 26 baby!

Are We Joking Here?!

SO I thought I have had a pretty good week health wise and all. I have worked out in the gym 2 days...walked 3 so far...total of 7.5 miles so far. Figured I would lose something..or at least maintain right?

Wrong.

GAIN of 2 pounds.

Are we f'in joking?

No. I'm not.

I am guessing my eating must be the culprit....it has to be. But doesn't mean I am still not super pissed off at myself. I do NOT want to be this fat AGAIN this summer. I feel like every summer I gain more weight....ick..go back through my FB pictures and you will see what I mean. It sucks. I don't want that to happen this summer.

I do have to remember that even though it feels like May..its only March. This gain throws me off big time though...now I have an extra 4 lbs to lose to get to that 20. SO frustrated.

Other people doing the Biggest Loser have had to buy new pants. I'm just happy to still fit in my pants and not have them be too small. I know I shouldn't compare myself to others..because we are all different yada yada. Well screw that. I am. I want new jeans!!!!!

SO...guess I'm working out harder staring tomorrow. Eating better..starting now. Maybe I'll have better results next week.

Sigh.

Sorry all my blogs have been angry ones....guess I'm in an angry phase or something..

People Annoy Me..

Man....people annoy me.

For example:

To the woman who was trying to shover her crying 4 yr old into the back seat of her sweet 2010 Mustang....you're joking right? Your car only has 2 doors....and your child is screaming. Maybe you should have thought your car purchase through? I'm not saying you have to have a mini van...but man alive....a Mustang?! Maybe if your car had 4 doors you wouldn't have smoked your daughter's chin on something in the car causing her to scream and cry and yell at you? Maybe.....just a thought.

Another example:

People who don't know how to drive in roundabouts. COME ON! If you come barreling to a roundabout going 40 mph......there better not be ANY cars in said roundabout. If a car is in said roundabout..maybe you should slow down to 30. I understand that my road is not used often...but fact is, there is an exit to it..so I can take it. Thank you kind sir for stoping halfway in the roundabout so you wouldn't PLOW into the side of my car. You're lucky I know people are stupid there and I was watching YOU. I anticipated you hitting me, so I literally stopped IN the roundabout...something I shouldnt have to do and that could cause an accident itself. Let me tell you buddy......if looks could kill...I gave you one dirty look. Ass. UGH.

Another Example:

People who sets prices at Pier 1....$6 for a polka dot coffee cup?! Come on..I just want it to make my coffee mug tree look cute. I don't need to spend $36 dollars to do so. Ugh. and Bed Bath and Beyond....$6.99?! Your cups weren't even cute! How dare you?! Anyone hav a suggestion where I can get cute, matching, coffee cups? I refuse to drink out of a glass I found at Goodwill or Savers...so keep that in mind.

Last Example:

Pinterest. As much as I love you..fix your mobile website!!! When I unclick the FB box...it means I DON"t want it posted on FB...so don't do it!! Every damn time...you post it. So annoying.

I'm done. Thanks for the rant guys....

Pinterest:

This is why I don't run...

In Heaven There is No Beer.....

WHAT!?!?!?!?!?

What a horrible polka song. It was in my head all day on Friday, I should have known it was a sign on how awesome my weekend was going to be.

I love my friends. I know I've said it before, but they really make my life fantastic. I don't know what I'd do without them.

Fish Fry on Friday night...in a saaaweet bar. Ick. and Grilling out and Sandrock Salooning it on Saturday. Love.

SO anyways. I was thinking on Friday....if there is no beer in heaven..how is it Heaven? I mean seriously. In my Heaven there will be an endless supply of Bud Light Lime. For free.

So that got me thinking, what else will be in my Heaven? Well let's see...

• Thane and Bernie for sure.
• Facebook and Pinterest- it literally wouldn't be Heaven without them!
• My phone...I'd have to keep in touch with other people who are in their Heaven. Right? Think US Cellular covers up there?
• My new bedroom set. I am more anxious every day for that darn thing...and I'm sure I won't want to part with it.
• Michael's. I don't even have to explain that one.
• Greek yogurt.
• A movie theatre playing all the new movies...for free.
• Someone to give me a pedicure and draw a cute flower on my big toe.
• Calorie free Oreos. Sara said they do exist....
• Frequent visits from my friends.

I think that is a pretty good list.

I can't believe how amazing it is going to be this week. I plan to walk every afternoon...that last 13 pounds should just melt off....right??

Pinterest find of the day: It's perfect :)

Pinterest Fri..no Tues...no..What Day is it?

I want to blog....but have nothing to say....I don't even know what day of the week it is. Ugh. I need a vacation. This Pinterest find made me giggle so hard I had to keep it in so I wouldn't wake Thane up.

I bet I looked really awkward.

Ha! Still laughing. Silly dinosaur.

Darn You Target!!

So. I have a challenge for myself:

Next time I go to Target, spend UNDER $50.

It is seriously not possible. Ok, maybe once out of every 9 times it is. But a majority of the time you can't.

I went in there to buy tampons today. (Sorry if there are boys reading.)

I spent $53.

...no no..they were not special ones organic "green" ones. I just quickly filled my cart with other crap. What did I buy? Well lemme tell you.

*a Easter egg towel. (really?)

*a workout shirt that was on SALE!

*a sportsbra that was on SALE!

*3 yogurts...the Greek kind!!

*2 things of soup

*Coffee

*Creamer

*Tampons.

then I was in line...and saw..........the new People.......with KATNISS on the cover!!! I HAD to buy it. A whole magazine about The Hunger Games?! So worth it.

So anyways. Went in for tampons. Came out with the most random shit ever. and spent over $50 for it. Don't get me wrong...the yogurt is super yummy. Thanks Lauren for making me try it!)

So here is my challenge next time I go to Target. I HAVE to spend under $50. No matter what. or no ok wait. I have to make a list. I can ONLY get stuff that I have on the list. That may be harder....yup. That's my challenge.

I challenge YOU!! Make a list..and stick to it! Good luck guys....good luck.


Pinterest find:

So perfect for my blog the other night :)

Chalk It Up to Fate..

Today was the perfect mix between lazy and productive.

We didn't get up until 10. Didn't get out of bed until 10:45. Made pancakes. Cleaned up the kitchen. Laid on the couch. Watched American Pickers. Started laundry. Cleaned a bit. Saw Katie. Laid on the couch. Now I'm watching Army Wives.

They are in a hurricane. Not good. If Roxy dies....I will NOT be happy.  Ugh...her car is on its side. Not a good sign.

Oh man......Roxy...stay in the car!! I married an electrician...don't get out. There is a power line down!

Speaking of. Last winter I went in the ditch at the bottom of our road. Into a retaining pond. Scariest car accident I have ever been in. Well ok...that I've been in in the last few years. I've only been in 2.

So anyways. If my car hadn't turned a bit on the ice, I would have went straight into a transformer. I get home and Thane tells me how lucky I am. Then he asks me, "If you had hit that box, you would have stayed in your car right?" Um...probably not?

Apparently...listen up. If you hit a transformer with your car STAY IN YOUR CAR. See...you learn things from my blog. Your welcome.

My other accident was when I had my Ford Tempo in high school. Sophomore year. Leaving a friends house...going too fast down a hill. I hit some gravel and my car spun around ending up along side the ditch on the other side of the road. I'm guessing if I had been going a little faster I would have rolled down the ditch and hit the tree that was right there.

Its the small things in life that make a difference ehh?

I think about that a lot. That is why I'm a big believer in Fate. I always think Thane and I met by Fate.

Andrea dated his friend for a long time before Thane and I met. I always wonder why I didn't met him before Molly's party, but I'm glad I didn't. It wasn't the right time. I had a "relationship" with someone else..while liking a coworker. Ha! and when I say "relationship" I mean...we are together at parties and beyond that ...who are you? Or at least it was like that for him I'm sure...

I met Thane about a week after I swore off guys. The guy I was "talking to" burned me big time at a party, so I was done with him. The coworker didn't show up to a party, which was his only chance. So I was officially done with guys. No more.

That next week my roommate from Milwaukee randomly had to work in Madison and wanted to meet up. So Dra and I went to a movie with her on the East side and then decided on whim to stop downtown and meet up with her boyfriend. I walked into the party and the first person I see...Thane.

Wearing a stupid one eye joke tshirt. It was a good icebreaker though. :) Is it weird that I still remember almost everything about that night, and it was over 6 years ago? and I still get butterflies thinking about it?

So anyways...back to what I was originally talking about. I think it is the small things in life, that turn into the big things. For both my car accidents, if just one small thing had changed, I would have been seriously hurt.

Meeting Thane..well I know I would have eventually because I am meant to be with him. I would have eventually met him, but when I did...it was perfect timing in my life.

If it had been a week earlier, ugh. I can't imagine. All chalked up to Fate. or maybe just that saying....

One door closes...and a whole world opens. Wait...is that not how it goes? Well..in this case it does. :)

Pinterest find of the day:

How funny is this? I can totally see our friends doing this. Especially if we let Doug and LeRoy babysit. Why we would ever do that? I have no idea....

Dear High School Pam...

Ugh. I miss blogging. I don't know why. I write about silly things. Things that aren't really important to anyone, but myself at the moment.

Maybe I do it because I don't keep a journal. I used to as a kid. "Today I told myself that if Kris didn't ask me out...I'm going to stop liking him."

Yes...I can guarantee I literally wrote that at some point. Sadly, he did not ask me out. I didn't stop liking him either. Silly me.

If I could go back in time, I would give myself some tips.

Hey High School Pam..here are a few tips:

Tip 1: Enjoy your lunch of bread sticks, ranch dressing, and cottage cheese. You will *never* find bread sticks to match the amazingness of the River Valley High School cafeteria. Sigh.

Tip 2: If your end up dating someone more than 3 times..maaaaybe they aren't the one for you. Go play the field a little bit more. Branch out..beyond the wrestling team. See who is in your tiny school. You should have dated that Senior when you were a freshman...just saying. Mom would have been annoyed...and dad would have cleaned his guns infront of him...but mehh. Why not?

Tip 3: Slap that bitch. Ugh....I had a crowd and everything. My one legit chance to achieve one of my goals in life..and I didn't take it. Man. She deserved it too.

Tip 4: Avoid drama with your friends. It takes so much energy....just don't do it.

Tip 5: Enjoy every moment with your volleyball friends. You will have those memories for the rest of your life. Fun fact: Almost 10 years later...they are still some of your best friends. :)

Tip 6: Don't date the guys your friends dated in middle school. You'll never live it down ;)

Tip 7: Stay off AIM. It causes problems.

Tip 8: Run more your senior year. You were pathetic in senior soccer. No tolerance. You're a role model on you team...figure it out.

Tip 9: Nice job not drinking in high school. Small town..not much to do..way to be. Your pop and chip parties kept you and our friends out of a lot of trouble..but geesh. Maybe drink a little so you don't go crazy after you graduate....just saying. No, no. lies. I'm proud to say drinking wasn't a part of my life then....more than 2 or 3 times ;)

Tip 10: Never put a guy over your happiness. The story I hate the most, that my mom loves to tell, is that I almost didn't play club volleyball bc of a boy. Oh man. I wanted to make sure I made it to all his sporting events. WHAT?!!? Were you on drugs?! I am so thankful my mom talked some sense into me. Club volleyball was one of the best things that happened to me in high school. Don't be dumb high school Pam....

Tip 11: Spend more time with George. You'll miss him when he is gone. :/ A lot.

Tip 12: Don't eat only cheese Doritos and drink only Mt Dew when you go stay at Katie's house. You wonder why your stomach made crazy ass noises in the morning? It HATED you. On that note...

Tip 13: Don't take pictures in your bra with your crushes name "tattooed" on your arm. I was not the only one...don't even act innocent guys. We have pictures. What were we thinking!? Tip 13.5....use a marker like everyone else. Don't let Andrea write on you with a dying pen. I'm surprised it didn't actually tattoo you.

Tip 14: hmm...what other stupid shit did you do? DO save all your notes. They are so much fun to look at now. Especially when you find Katie's 30 page letter. Did we really do that?? Sit and copy stuff from magazines or books..just to make our letter long? THEN the other person actually read every word? Love it.

Tip 15: Stop thinking you're fat. Wear a bikini because you will never be able to wear one again...

Tip 16: Go to Peck's Landing in the summer. You love it as an adult..I can't imagine how much fun it could have been with your high school friends.


I'm done.

This post is a *perfect* example of how friggin random I am. I was just going to post about very random things I have done lately....and it turned into this. I think you can literally see my thought process at the beginning. Do you see why I named my blog what I did!?

I love that I am still the same person as I was 18 years ago. "If today someone doesn't do this..I won't do this." I just did this the other week. "If Thane leaves without saying anything about my 6am workout..I won't go." Well....he said something. I had to go.

Hope you are all having a great Saturday!!

Pinterest find:

 The Hunger Games. I am a little obsessed with it right now. I can't wait for the movie to come out. Granted, I will not be waiting in line at midnight...although I think that would be interesting. I'd love to see if people dress up as characters from the Capital. It would be really interesting. I love this part of the book. Such a sweet quote. <3.