Delusional Lady and Target

Why does every trip to Target result in me blogging?

In case you didn't notice, its pouring out. 

Pouring. On and off all day. 

We shall start this journey there.

So I am driving to Target, two hands on the wheel, trying not to let the wind take me off the road. I pull in and try to park strategically. I see the *perfect* spot. Not too far from the door...and right next to a cart return.

It would be perfect. I could run back to my car in the rain, but my hatch would shield me as I leisurely unpacked my groceries, all while chuckling at all the poop people who had cars....who didn't have a hatch! (I just saw my "poop" typo...and its too good to delete.It should say "poor" but poop is a good alternative.) 

Anyways, I grab my coupon binder and head it. Luckily I was able to dodge the rain at this moment. 

To start, I wanted to find this frozen pasta stuff I had gotten for P before. Do you think I can find it?? If someone was like, "PAM! You will win a MILLION dollars if you find that damn frozen pasta again!!" I wouldn't win.

How is it that I can be like drawn to it the first time....then after I learn my kid loves it, never find it again? I walked around the frozen food aisle at least 3 times. 

Throughout my trip there were LOUD cracks of thunder. So loud it sounded like I was outside, on a hill, next to a tree, that had a megaphone on it to funnel down the thunder to me. Too much? I'm tired. 

It is interesting to watch people react. It was so loud that I jumped almost every time. People would nervously look around and laugh at each other and comment on the rain. 

When I stopped to get lunch meat, the deli lady and I had a whole discussion on how it was just our luck the that on again off again rain would be "on again" when we were both about to leave. At that point it was pouring and all I could think about was my awesome parking job. I would be able to unload my groceries in peace.

I get to the checkout and size up my overflowing cart. I have learned my lesson with couponing. If your coupon is for multiple things, like buy 3 pastas get a dollar off, put that stuff at the end of your purchase. That way when their computer prompts them to make sure you bought enough you don't have to dig through all the bags to prove it. That happened to me once...with like 3 coupons. So embarrassing and annoying.  

Anyways, I put up a divider and start to put my things on the belt. All of a sudden the women ahead of me is pushing my things back. 

 She stood there frantically trying to push back my divider and then when that didn't work, she just started to push my food back.

I don't know why I was grossed out. She was touching all the food I was about to buy, but I'm sure 19 people before her had touched my food as well. Who cares though? I was about to buy it, put it in my kitchen and her germs were getting all over it.

 Why was she touching everything you ask?

Because it was touching her bread. "I don't want it smooshed." she mumbled.

Really?

I barely ever make it to the checkout without my bread being smooshed, and if I do..it most definitely doesn't make it home that way. and if it does make it home...it doesn't make it inside that way. 

She was delusional. 

Stop touching my food swan.

So anyways, its pouring. Like God has turned on the tub faucet and was wasting water. I took comfort in knowing I will only get a little soaked.

I run to my car....open my hatch.........and I'm still getting wet. The inside of my car is getting wet.

The stupid wind was blowing the rain right at me. 

I hate sideways rain.

These are kind of stupid...but the first video of the panda is awesome. You need a laugh...

4th Floor

We went to visit Ilya today. She is in the ICU and hopefully gets out tomorrow. They found a bone marrow donor! The person is an international donor. Hopefully she will be strong and healthy enough to receive the transplant. 

Please keep her in your thoughts and if you pray...say one for her and her family. They need them. 

I was scared to visit her. That is why I didn't go sooner. I was scared how I would feel after I left. Scared I would cry in front of her. Scared I'd say the wrong thing. 

How selfish of me. 

I was scared about how I would feel...I didn't stop to think that her mom feels like that every minute of every day. Didn't think about how maybe our visit would give her a distraction for an hour. 

For the record, I didn't cry in front of her. I was so impressed with her.  She is the same ole Ilya. Full of life. Still sassy. Still loves animals. Talking about driving and riding horses. 

I did cry on the way home. After Target. You can only make your mind think of other things for so long. 

I cried for Ilya. I cried for her mom. I cried for all the other families in the 41 other rooms on the ICU floor at the Children's Hospital. I cried for the nurses on that floor that have to struggle with their emotions daily. I cried because it was a beautiful day and all they could do was look out the window and hope to be able to go outside sometime before summer ends. 

I cried the most for the family we saw on the way out. 

They were sitting by the elevator. The mom was on a bench with 3 women huddled around her trying to console her. Asking her questions, telling her it would be ok. She just had her hand on her face and was shaking her head. The dad....he was staring at the wall. 

Just staring. 

I will never forget that. His staring. I can only imagine why they were there. On the 4th floor. 

I tried not to look in the other rooms. They deserve their privacy. I accidentally looked in one while we were waiting to get the ok to go in. A little girl was sleeping. I had to look away.  

On the way out, I accidentally looked in another room. It's so hard not to do. There was a crib. 

A crib. 

When I got home I hugged Thane and cried. 

Then I went and made Parker get off his Cars car so I could kiss him and hug him. Unfortunately, he was pissed that I got him off his car. So we didn't snuggle much...but I got my kiss. 

I just put him down to bed. I let him fall asleep in the chair with me. Today reminded me that you need to savor every moment with your children....you never know. 

Spring Cleaning

I got in a spring cleaning mode today...and last night. 

Last night I tore Parker's room apart. Put away his 12 month clothes and hung up 24mths/2T clothes. Oiy....that's big. I got boxes out and marked them 3T and 4T and up. Because yes....I have clothes that big for him. Not that many...but a few. 

That is how I knew it was time to go at the consignment sale on Thursday. I found an awesome Badger jersey with pants for $5. It was a 5T. I now own it. Yup...I have a problem. 

Anyways, I packed up our board games from the living room closet. I had hoped it would make that closet look less cluttered for ALL the showings we have. (insert sarcasm). Epic fail. While I put a bunch of games away...now I have no where to hid all the papers that the games were covering up. 

Great. Now I have to really organize it. Ugh. So I skipped that. Board games was enough.

Moved on to my room. Man....bad idea. What a project. 

I went through my closet. If you got my SnapChat you will understand how horrible that was. I cleaned it out big time. So now at least that will look nicer at showings. 

I decided it was time to throw away sports bras I have had for like 6 years. My rule today was: If you haven't worn it in 5 years and the elastic is crumbling because it is so old...throw it away! Um...I threw away 4 sports bras. 3 pairs of shorts. and some Old Navy tank tops that have seen MUCH better days. Thew away my favorite top to a sleep set. A sleep set that I wore when we came home with P. A sleep set that I tore a hole so big in the crotch I at one point put my whole leg through it on accident. Ya..it was time for the top to go too. 

Cleaned under my bed. Threw away a bunch of magazines and a gross old gym bag. I should probably vacuum under that are some point. I did find my 5lb weights! So that was exciting...it helped me with my workout tonight! 

Tackled my dresser. Guess what I found in that?? A pair of jeans that FIT! A pair of pants I could wear to work that FIT! A pair of shorts I love that ALMOST FIT. I can at least button them..but I have that unsavory roll. You know the one. Ick. 

Hopefully by the time I want to wear shorts I will be able to wear them without that roll. 

I did some leg work tonight. Go me!! Burpees were involved. As were reverse lunges. I probably won't be able to walk tomorrow. 

That is all for today folks. 

Jk...I have more to say. I really like this quote. I'm glad I just found it. I did exactly this tonight. I was all like....ugh Seal Jacks? No thanks. Reverse lunges...I can't do those. Burpees? Ugh..they suck.

I did them all anyways. 

Tape Measures Don't Lie.

No. and you can only pull them so tight to get to the next inch mark.

Trust me...I just tried. 

Apparently taking 2+ weeks off at the gym doesn't help you lose any inches?

huh...good to know.

Parker and I just went to grandma's today to get a jogging stroller. Since it's going to be 60 tomorrow, I wanted to take it for a spin.

On the way home we saw SO many people running. Apparently its a good day to run. A fantastic lady, a super motivated lady..we shall call her Tonya to keep her identity private...just ran 8.5 miles this morning. 

Maybe since I just got a *jogging* stroller I should join them?

It took me a while to talk myself into it. We got home, P napped and I watched a little TV. P woke up and we played a little bit...and I was restless. It is such a beautiful day and we were wasting it. 

So I got us ready to go.

 Have you ever tried to get ready for a run with a 1 year old knowing you have to leave a 110 pound dog who loves to eat everything behind? 

Here is how it goes: Throw on some running pants. Grab Parker from eating something out of my jewelry armoire. Grab a sports bra. Redirect Parker away from the toilet. Find a tank top. Move a glass of water before P tips it over. Throw on a long sleeve. Catch Thane's alarm clock before it hits the ground. Put on a sweatshirt. Run to grab everything that Parker needs to wear. Wrangle him so I can put his shoes on. ( I literally had to hold him down with my leg while trying to get his shoes on...while he was wiggling and screaming and kicking..and laughing?) Put his coat on while he was digging in a bathroom drawer. Put his hat on. Go move the garbage cans into the bathroom so Bernie wouldn't eat the contents. Quick scan of the kitchen. Opps..Parker's cookies are still out. Put cookies away. Go back. Get Parker. Put his hat on again. Go to the garage. Unfold stroller. Put Parker in. Try to strap him in while trying to not let him play with the knobs on the gas grill. Put down garage door..good to go.

Easy peasey! . 

Did I mention that Frannie and I are doing a 5k? ya. She pinned Couch to 5K, so I'm assuming she is doing it...and I decided I'm going to join her. 

Now you have to.

So I did the couch to 5k tonight. Does anyone do it? I can't figure out how to time it without having to stop and restart the alarm on my phone. I would love some tips. 

I really wish my subdivision, or the entire town of MH for that matter, wasn't total hills. I of course had to run my minute on a huge hill...and wasn't able to recover. I stood in my driveway after, took a snap chat, opened the garage door, and decide to go walk it out. My heart was going to explode. So we walked it out...and I ran again. Go me!

So here is a stat check since the 1st of the year.
* "Bust" -3
* Under boob area -2.5
* Waist -3.5
* Belly Button -2.5
* Hips -3.5
*Butt -1.5
*Thigh -1.5

Not the best numbers...but at least I have lost in all the areas? I guess. At least it's motivation to work harder this month! 

Thanks to Lauren I have found a sweet new app. It builds workouts for you, like weight lifting. Thanks to her and this app I no longer have no excuse not to lift.

Motivation? Found it. 

This isn't what I did today, but I like it.

DIY Lock Puzzle

So yesterday I was anxious. I need to do something creative. Stat.

So I turned to Thane and said, "Hey...can we go to Menards tomorrow? I want to make Parker a puzzle."

Now this was sneaky of me. If I had said, "Hey...lets go shop for a Pinterest project tomorrow!!" he would have shot me down in 2 seconds. I knew if I threw in the word "Menards" he would be game for whatever I wanted.

I mean...I almost had him talked into new light fixtures. That is how excited he was that I wanted to go to Menards with him. 

Anyways, I had seen lock puzzles on Pinterest before and I am pretty sure they are based off of this Melissa and Doug puzzle:

Super cool..yet not what I wanted. I didn't want to spend $24.99 for a puzzle that had 6 things to do. 

No...I want to spend $13 MORE to make it with 9 latches!! 

Yes, it was a little pricey to make it, but well worth it I think. We got to pick the latches we wanted, I got to paint something, Thane got to go to Menards without me complaining, and P now has a new puzzle. I think that's a win for everyone involved. 

Here are the steps:

First, gather your supplies! The round board was a last minute decision. There was a long rectangle piece of wood that we were going to go with because it was only $6 and then we would just cut it down. After some searching around I found this and we decided it was better because of how thick the wood was. Apparently Thane didn't want the screws to go through the back. Also, a tip I learned today that will rock your world. 

Menards had signs hanging up in the spray paint area. "Menards customers. The color of the spray paint lid is the color of the paint inside. Thank you!" 

Are you JOKING?!?! They actually had a problem with SO many people asking what color was inside the can with a red lid that they had to make a sign? Oh lord....

2nd, spray paint the base color. It was pretty windy out today so I decided to use a box to block the wind. Yet another idea I found on Pinterest. I did only one coat. 

Next, figure out what words I wanted on it. I wanted to put "Parker's Locks" but it wouldn't fit. So I just cut out Parker using my Cricut and attached it using rolled tape. I need to find a better way to do this because it didn't turn out perfect. The random piece of tape is to mark how far down I could go before I had to start putting locks on. 

I was hoping if I held the can straight over the words that it wouldn't bleed through. Sigh.....

This top coat took two coats.

No where near perfect. I may touch it up..but let's be real. No I won't. Parker doesn't care. If he doesn't care, then I don't care!

This is the part where you get your husband to drill the locks in. They come in handy while doing Pinterest projects!

The final project!!! 

Parker saw it while I was trying to take a picture and squealed and crawled on over. 

Unfortunately, the paint fumes were still giving me a headache so this bad boy has retired to the garage for the night to air out. 

So, it was a little expensive to make but it was made with love....and our Menards rebate!!! 

Boom.

PS. This is a form of a puzzle. It will help P work on developing his fine motor skills. Just in case anyone was wondering. :)

True Life: Raising a Cannibal

My child bit me tonight. 

HARD.

My frickin shoulder still hurts. Even after I ingested Oreos to make it feel better.

Here's how it went down. I know you're dying to know. 

Backstory:
He was at work with me today. He woke up at 3am and we "slept" on the couch until 6. I use " " because I have no idea if he actually fell back asleep. I know I did...that weird limbo sleep that moms have. P? Everytime I came out of my limbo I heard him smackin on his blankie right next to me...who knows if his eyes were closed?

So anyways..this kid woke up at 3..maybe fell back asleep..maybe not? Took a nap at 6:45...was awake until like noon. Took a 2 hr nap and thats it.

Can we say bags under his eyes?

You know how you feel when you are OVER tired? You get hyper and super crazy? No...just me? Well...my kid too. 

He is bouncing off the walls...laughing. Then laying on the floor crying. Then walking at me giggling. Then crawling on the floor crying like he just lost his best friend. (Which his best friend...the blankie...is actually in his mouth so there is no way he lost him.) Sigh.

So in the middle of all these random things, he walks to me and hugs me. So cute. I love this kid and I love the hugs he just learned to give. 

So the last hug...aww it was so sweet.  I thought he was nuzzleing me. Aww....

NO. 

I realize this little cannibal has dug his teeth in my shoulder and won't let go!

I lean forward holding slowing saying. "oooooooooooooWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW"

I dont know how I didn't drop him. Mom mojo I suppose. Cause shit..that hurt.

He just laid there looking at me as I rubbed my shoulder and said "NAUGHTY!" 

He just stared at me all like "Mom...I'm cute. Why are you overreacting so?"

I'm all like "KID! You just almost broke skin with your new teeth!"

Then.....I realize I may or may not have just yelled in his ear. I don't even know for sure. The blinding pain. 

Now I'm freaked out I was too loud. What if I injured his ear? He wasn't crying...so thats a good sign.

I'm going to overreact anyways. He probably has hearing loss. 

Blankieist

That is my child.

A Blankieist. 

It's like a racist or a sexist but with blankies. 

He has 2 favorite blankies. They are disgusting. And the smell. Oh the smell. 

We got them at Pecks craft fair in Spring Green last summer. 2 for $16 with his name on them for free! My mom bought the 2nd one, but I was skeptical because why would he need two? What a waste of money.

Ha! What a joke that is. Stupid Pam...amateur mom. Thank god we got two.

So move forward 6 months and I am desperately trying to find another blankie for him to chew on.

Tried one he got when he was born. Hated it. 

Mom got him a cool chevron one. Hated it.No feet on the end and wrong texture. 

I got him one with feet on the end. Hated it. Who knows why? It even had an extra thing bc of the elephant nose.

I was at a lose. We could deal with only having two...but man it'd be really nice to have more. So we could wash them without stressing out that he would need to nap with or if we had to go on a car ride or God forbid what happens when we lose one?! Which man..that happens a lot. He likes to crawl or walk around the house with them in his mouth and leave them in random places.

Like our TV remote right now. That has been missing for days. 

Anyways, we tried to ask Pecks for her information. I have looked all over ETSY. All over amazon. Nothing.

Flash forward to last Thursday night. We were cleaning for a showing. (yes....a showing!!) and I noticed an etsy magnet on our fridge. I stopped cleaning in my tracks and froze..."Thane, what if this is the blankie lady?"

He just laughed. I pulled out my phone...put in her website...and the first picture that popped up? Parker's zebra blankie. 

fml.

Almost a year later...I find her card that has been in plain sight this whole frickin time.

I ordered on Thursday night, and we got it Saturday! 

So anyways, we wash it and give it to Parker...and hold our breath.

Literally...we were too scared to move and distract him from his new blankie. 

He looks at it...turns it over and over in his hands. He was looking for the feet. Turns it over and over and over...we are totally holding our breath the entire time watching. Who knew a blankie was such a big deal?

He throws it aside. 

UGH.

Thane gave it back to him. He turns it over..and over...and over....and FINDS A FOOT!!!!

He promptly stuck it in his mouth..chewed for a few seconds....thrown aside.

We obviously need to ease into this new blankie.

Thane took him and his blankie into his room to play and all of a sudden I hear him whispering frantically "Pam....PAM!" I looked and Parker is walking out of his room, grinning, with his new blankie in his mouth.

WOO!!!

We decided to put him down for nap with it. 5 minutes later he is screaming. Juuuuuust screaming. He was NOT ok with the new blankie. 

Sigh...he is currently laying down for his nap with the new blankie..and an old one. He will learn to love this one..its just too new right now. Not quite broken in yet like the others...to soft and well...clean. 

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